Friday, March 25, 2011

What's Your Laundry?

Blowfish worked his way up to asking,

" Fishy, are you upset about something?"

" Not particularly"

" Well ...... you seem upset".

I walked around him to check on dinner in the oven. As I passed by I gave him my no trespassing look but did not say anything. When dinner  and the Kitchen cleanup were both over Blowfish said,

" It's not like you to be so quiet so what's up? is Mom worse? client orders didn't come? Mermaid  came off a horse?"

I stopped what I was doing to turn and say, " Mom is still waiting on God, clients are all fine, Mermaid is fine." Then I left the room. Not too much time passed before Blowfish arrived at my side in the Laundry Room where I was folding yet another load of stuff.

" Are you out of chocolate? I could make an emergency trip."

" Blowfish, go facebook, or game or read or watch the talking heads yell at each other. I'm busy".

" Fishy, I been around a while now and if there is one thing I have learned about you it's that you do laundry, lots of it, when you are upset about things. I have never seen you do this much laundry before. Fact is, I don't think I've ever seen this  laundry before".

" Leave me be Blowfish, leave me be".

He is right.  When I cannot put things in order in an emotional/psychological venue I am compelled to as much physical order as possible. I  organize closets, the kitchen, the garage, the attic or;  if I just cannot take the time in one big chuck for those larger projects ,then I do laundry. When it's very bad  I take everything out of all the linen closets ( we have 6)  and wash it all.

When my mother was seeking to resolve the unresolved she did mending. With all us kids there was always plenty to do.  She would mend anything. Beloved remnants of a child's favorite blankie or a dogs favorite toy. She mended doll clothes and re-hemmed kitchen towels. Mama loved sewing so if there was no actual mending to be done she would make something. She often designed what she made, drafting patterns on the paper grocer's bags. One summer at the beach, Mama had a bout with anxiety. There was no mending in sight. Maybe not even a sewing kit for just tightening up buttons on shirts.
It's a wonder she didn't set the place on fire as I think she had a cigarette going in every room.  Eventually she came out to the porch and sat down to work on a jig saw puzzle with us kids.

That's the other thing I still do when I cannot  get to a peaceful place in my spirit. There is something therapeutic about puzzles. You take  fragments and make something good whole again. It is symbolic but there is something in this activity which quiets the anxiety. 

So what do you do? Punch bags? Jog for miles? Scream at squirrels? Pull weeds?

One of my friends says you can always judge her status by looking at  her pantry.
            She swears a neat, orderly
pantry at her house is an indication of full blown psychosis.
Her children confirm.  If they come home,  fling open the larder doors and encounter  order they call friends, aunts,uncles, grands or preachers to beg to be adopted starting immediately. During these phases her husband  spends hours hitting his grocery cart of tennis balls against the garage wall. The "all clear" in their house is a packed, jumbled pantry.

So , please, tell Fishy  what is your 'go to' activity when your world is a bit out of balance and there is not a single thing  that can be done to set things to right?  For those  times when you become knowledgeable about what it actually means " to endure". When you have done all you can do but cannot,
 fix you angst ?


Anonymous said...

I usually read the Bible or some inspirational prose.

Pam said...

Great post. GREAT post. My mom would go on cleaning binges that probably had lots to do with this subject. We all learned to just stay out of the way. I'm with you though on laundry ... seems like it helps clean the soul a bit. And hoiking out the junk from closets, etc..... we have lots of that needs doing around here at the moment. In fact, that sounds very therapeutic. Must create some time for that. And shopping. To fill it back up again. Isn't cleaning out the closet very feng shui? Like, out with the old to make room for something new in life?

fishy said...

That is the absolute best resource.
Sometimes I cannot be still enough to read.

I probably would be much better about purging the old and acquiring new if I did not have so much storage, if I enjoyed shopping more.
if I could learn to not get attached to things.

I still store the crib set from Mermaid's infancy. In case she wants them one day. I drag them out of the closet at least yearly to give them a spin through the laundry. I actually use them when the crib is brought from the attic for wee guests.

moi said...

I respond to normal, day-to-day stresses with hard physical exercise and bursts of temper. But when things are really bad, out of my control, deep down blue, I clean house. I'm pretty rigorous in that regard normally, but I go above and beyond, I'm talking baseboards with a toothbrush . . .

I hope whatever is out of balance in your world quickly rights itself.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the nurturing sentiments.
The balancing issue is not correctable. Like when a hurricane is coming. You can prepare, but you cannot change the path or guarantee the outcome.

I am familiar with the bursts of temper, fits of exercise and, 4 of our bathrooms have the original mosaic tile floors which are ripe for toothbrushing.
Just reading this makes me feel compassion for Blowfish! Who, has no temper and would get up in the wee hours to fetch chocoate if it would soothe.

At least there are lemons to distract :-)


moi said...

Fishy: Ah, yes. Tile. Also very therapeutic :o) You married one of those non-tempered people, too? Gah. It's maddening, isn't it?

Jenny said...

Great post. I hope you were able to get that chocolate "outage" resolved. Like you, when there's internal chaos in my life, I require order, so I do what you and your Momma did; clean. Organize. I did that today; pulled boxes from the garage, sorted trash and things for Goodwill. I think it's healthier than shopping or eating or drinking. Oddly, I usually have my best boxing workouts (hitting a punching bag) when I've had a good day, not a bad day.

You OK Fishy? xoxoxo. Do we need to send chocolate?

fishy said...

very maddening. Blowfish points out it is difficult to have no outlet for fury. His belief is those of us who do, got the better dna.

Sweet Boxer,
I get that. A satisfying boxing workout as a celebration for accomplishing good. I do that with gardening. Actually maintenance. Just give me plenty of extension cord and a sharp hedge trimmer and I can change the universe out my windows. I dare not pick up a shovel, axe or pruners if I am fussed.

Sigh, no chocolate these days.

moi said...

By the way, you know that Blowfish is out and about, right? He did a driveby to mention the chutney. I sent you an email last week about using it in a recipe (I posted on Undaunted Baker), but it must have gotten lost in the ether, as some of these things are won't to do. Anyway, it made delicious meat pies. Thanks again!

czar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sparringK9 said...

hike. hump that trail. up the mountain. pulling weeds is very satisfying as well. Also - and this is dangerous. baking.

Great sorry you are out of sorts. i understand.

Sharon Rudd said...

Dear Fishy, hope things will soon settle down for you - or that your house ends up sparklingly clean :)

Meanwhile, loved your haiku. Ah, for a "sweet acidic kiss'd tart," indeed! Happy Haiku Monday!

moi said...

Feeessssshhhyyyyy . . . drop by Moi's place . . .

darkfoam said...

loved your haiku over at moi's! .. :-)

i hope you are feeling better. i wish i felt like cleaning when things aren't right. i think i tend to just stick my head in the sand and diddle around with art doodles.

Sharon Rudd said...

Congrats and well-deserved, Fishy! Hope everything's smellin' like sun pies for you!

Aunty Belle said...

uh oh.

Kudos on yore Haiku--youse a pro.

Uh...thang is, mah pantry is cleanest it's been in two years. hmmnn...

Sorry fer yore agitated spirit, an sendin' ya a wee prayer.

Fishy? I has PLENTY of top Q chocolate, so c'mon on down.

Kymical Reactions said...

Ugh. I HATE doing laundry. Loathe it, actually. My laundry situation is a bit dire at the moment. I just haven't got much energy to do it.

When I'm get that feeling you've been feeling, I tend to want to be alone. I like to go on a walk, or just go for a drive with just me and my thoughts.

If I get stuck around someone, especially someone I want to avoid, that's when the snarky comments come out, and I can't control it. It's like word vomit. I open my mouth and passive aggressive comments flow out like a river. sigh.

Jenny said...

any chance Fishy will be participating in Haiku Monday?

You are missed.