Friday, August 19, 2011
I AM NOT SHE
My own true self.
It is disturbing to be told I am not.
Today I was in a market close out store. It's one of those places that buys the inventories from furniture market showrooms. They often buy great stuff for pennies on the dollar. If the manufacturer is overseas it is far more cost effective to sell the entire showroom contents at the end of market than to ship it back. Ten cents to the dollar is the norm.
The downside to these type of stores is you have to haunt them as they are only open a few days a month and they only have what they have. In other words if you see something you like get it because they will not have another nor can you order more of the same.
(That is the honest to goodness name of the manufacturer of large scale industrial fans) but it is not the same as air conditioning. I do not visit this location in "designer" clothes. I wear jeans, a polo and boots . Others dress for the heat in clothes which are only slightly more than what I wear in the shower. I understand it is hot but that is not a reason to display all ones goods. Not to mention my body is a bit beyond the display stage of life.
As I was passing a collection of furniture which was clearly designed for bachelors, a woman with big yellow hair and a name tag came out from between rows and said,
" Well, I can't believe you would show your face in here again."
" I beg your pardon?"
" Beg all you want, it will do you no good here!"
Clearly Big Hair had an issue with someone. Not me. I had never met her before.
I put my hand out to shake and said,
" Hi. I am Fishy from Fishy Designs and I do not believe we have met."
" You are not!" was the heated response.
I was not in the mood so I gave her a firm look and said, " I am sure if Steve or Jane is here they will be glad to vouch for me. Now if you will excuse me I have limited time today and I would like to continue on".
" How long do you think you can do this?"
"Pretend to be someone else?"
I again took stock of this individual who was not just confused but also acting a bit like a junkyard dog. Not my issue. I reached into my bag and came out with a business card which I handed to Big Hair and said,
"If you go back up front, you will see I, and my business, are in your computer system. If necessary you can call the number on the card and hear my phone ring. Now please excuse me"
"My name is Nova and you look exactly like her. Same face, same hair, same size, same everything that I can see."
" Nova, please excuse me."
" Are you a twin?'
"Nope. Nor a triplet or so on either."
" Well your non twin is a thief and a liar."
" I am not Nova and for sure I would like for you to move off this subject. I have been patient but I think I am done now. You have in essence told me I am not myself, not truthful and a thief. I like to think I am uniquely me. I like to think I own my face as well as my behaviors. I like to think I have manners but my string is a bit short in this heat so please do let me continue on ".
" I never forget a face."
With that I moved on and continued to shop.
Nova did not follow. But the next bay over there she was.
Staring. Shaking her head. Pretending to look for something but stalking me.
I found this irritating and decided to leave.
As I began moving toward the exit, the owner Steve came in,
" Fishy! nice to see you how are things?"
" Good, you?"
"Great! Come back here I want to show you a new showroom I just bought. We are making room for it in G Bay now." He was very enthusiastic.
" Next time, I was just leaving."
" You didn't buy anything? Come on, let me show you the new stuff!".
" I pass, but it's nice to see you".
As I was taking my leave I heard a hissing sound behind me. I turned and saw Nova rapidly gesticulating and stage whispering to Steve. He was shaking his head and smiling, then he started laughing really hard.
He waved me over while he was still trying to gain composure. As I got closer I saw Nova was way past being red faced. She had moved onto plum and was heading toward blue. I had a mean, irrational thought,
" if that damn woman arrests someone else will have to do the cpr".
Finally, after getting his laughter under control Steve said, " Nova here thinks you look like someone else".
" She mentioned."
" She thinks I should check your tatoos to confirm your identity."
" So does this mean you don't have tatooed .....er.... pasties?"
Not funny at all.