Friday, August 19, 2011


There was a time in my life when I believed I was uniquely me.
My own true self.
It is disturbing to be told I am not.

Today I was in a market close out store. It's one of those places that buys the inventories  from furniture market showrooms. They often buy great stuff for pennies on the dollar. If the manufacturer is overseas it is far more cost effective to sell the entire showroom contents at the end of market than to ship it back. Ten cents to the dollar is the norm.
The downside  to these type of stores is you have to haunt them as they are only open a few days a month and  they only have what they have. In other words if you see something you like get it because they will not have another nor can you order more of the same.

So today I went. This particular business is located in a metal warehouse building which is not climate controlled. While we are not still in the triple digits , temperatures remain  in the mid nineties outside. Hotter inside the warehouse. They  have the bay doors partially open and the BigAss fans blowing.
(That is the honest to goodness name of the manufacturer of large scale industrial fans) but it is not the same as air conditioning. I do not visit this location in "designer" clothes. I wear jeans, a polo and boots . Others  dress for the heat in clothes which are only slightly more than what I wear in the shower. I understand it is hot but that is not a reason to display all ones goods. Not to mention my body is a bit beyond the display stage of life.

As I  was passing a collection of  furniture which was clearly designed for bachelors,  a woman with big yellow hair and a name tag came out from between rows and said,
" Well, I can't believe you would show your face in here again."
" I beg your pardon?"
" Beg all you want, it will do you no good here!"

Clearly Big Hair had an issue with someone. Not me. I had never met her before.
I put my hand out to shake and said,
" Hi. I am Fishy from Fishy Designs and I do not believe we have met."
" You are not!" was the heated response.
I was not in the mood so I gave her a firm look and said, " I am sure if Steve or Jane is here  they will be glad to vouch for me. Now if you will excuse me I have limited time today and I would like to continue on".
" How long do you think you can do this?"
"Do what?"
"Pretend to be someone else?"
I again took stock of this individual who was not just confused but also acting a bit like a junkyard dog. Not my issue. I reached into my bag and came out with a  business card which I handed to Big Hair and said,
"If you go back up front, you will see I, and my business, are in your computer system. If necessary you can call the number on the card and hear my phone ring. Now please excuse me"

While she was studying the card I made good my escape. I had made it through the bays with upholstered goods, the casegoods, the deconstructed Kitchens and was  browsing the accessories when Big Hair reappeared. She marched up to me and said,
"My name is Nova and you look exactly like her. Same face, same hair, same size, same everything that I can see."

" Nova, please excuse me."
" Are you a twin?'
"Nope. Nor a triplet or so on either."
" Well your non twin is a thief and a liar."
" I am not Nova and for sure I would like for you to move off this subject. I have been patient but I think I am done now. You have in essence told me I am not myself, not truthful and a thief. I like to think I am uniquely me. I like to think I own my face as well as my behaviors. I like to think I have manners but my string is a bit short in this heat so please do let me continue on ".
" I never forget a face."

With that I moved on and continued to shop.
Nova did not follow. But the next bay over there she was.
Staring. Shaking her head. Pretending to look for something but stalking me.

I found this irritating and decided to leave.
As I began moving toward the exit, the owner Steve came in,
" Fishy! nice to see you   how are things?"
" Good, you?"
"Great! Come back here I want to show you a new showroom I just bought. We are making room for it in G Bay now." He was very enthusiastic.
" Next time, I was just leaving."
" You didn't buy anything? Come on, let me show you the new stuff!".
" I pass, but it's nice to see you".
As I was taking my leave I heard a hissing sound behind me. I turned and saw Nova rapidly gesticulating and stage whispering to Steve. He was shaking his head and smiling, then he started laughing really hard.
He waved me over while he was still trying to gain composure.  As I got closer I saw Nova was way past being red faced. She had moved onto plum and was heading toward blue. I had a mean, irrational thought,
" if that damn woman arrests someone else will have to do the cpr".
Finally, after getting his laughter under control Steve said, " Nova here thinks you look like someone else".
" She mentioned."
" She thinks I should check your tatoos to confirm your identity." 
" What?".
" So does this mean you don't have tatooed pasties?"

Not funny.
Not funny at all.


Jenny said...

no.not funny. not funny at all. beyond annoying. close to harrassment and I hope this place isn't important to you because I'd never go back.

I'm so sorry.

fishy said...

I am the LAST person you could look at and think I was ever the type to dress skimpy/showy. Way beyond ridiculous to look at me and think I would have tattoos anywhere. Never mind visible to the public in private locations.

I get the mistake of identity thing but once that has been corrected what is the point of transfering your wrath to the innocent? We've all heard everyone has a doppleganger. In this case, I am not sure a "face" is what big hair Nova will never forget. Soooo annoying! If I must have a local doppleganger why can't she be a nun?

I have debated calling Steve about this. Clearly it is bad business for staff to call your long time customer a liar, thief or slut. Judgement is clearly an issue. I hesitate to make a call that could result in a job loss.

On the other hand, Mermaid, who did not think this a bit humorous,
would not hesitate a nano second to make that call.

Pam said...

Oh yes, you should be offended and let the owner know. If she had a problem with you, she should have gone straight to the owner instead of challenging you in the first place. She's probably been on the lookout for the woman since 1982. This is not the same, as "You sure do look familiar to me, do I know you from somewhere?" Or, "I swear you remind me of ***" I used to get that all the time about looking familiar.

However, nonetheless, when can I come shopping with you at this store? (Rubbing hands together in delight)

moi said...

I'd call Steve ASAP. Tell him how you feel. And then ask, "Now, what really intrigues me is this: how does Nova know my doppelganger has tattooed pasties?"

Huh, huh?

What a creepy, rude-ass woman.

fishy said...

come on down, we will have a blast! Do bring transport with you or the shipping will erase the savings. There are often amazing finds.

You are right, there was definitely something creepy about her. In fact, the whole experience bothered me way more than I realized. At first I was just very annoyed. That actually was the motive for writing this post.

But I could not get to a good sleep last night. Finally about 2am I sat up and said aloud,
"What the Hell! Did that wretch really suggest I expose my privates to prove my identity?" Then I couldn't get settled because I was sooo angry.

My guess is the doppelganger stole something on Nova's watch while wearing her skimpys. Who knows? Whatever her motives, Nova's behavior was .... an assault. I guess it took a restless night for me to understand my full reaction.

Now I really must go call Steve and tell him just how unpleasant this experience has been. If nothing else he definitely needs to know about the behavior and judgement of his employees. I am sure many have become unemployed for lesser transgressions.

Anonymous said...

Fishy, you are a FRUITBAT magnet. You run into more strange people than anyone I know.

czar said...

If you like the proprietor and the business, you should bring the hammer down on this Nova thing immediately and with a clear conscience.

Fleurdeleo said...

I know your experience was awful; but it was a riveting read. Sorry you were attacked like that.

Aunty Belle said...

ya doan like the movie Sweet Home Alabama?

fishy said...

Blowfish said a similar thing and then he said, really, it's like the same for everyone, you just talk about it more. He's probably right, if this had been him he would have said, " some weird woman at Steves thought I was someone else. She was pretty annoying so I left".

On the other hand, everyone who has ever gone shopping with me, or gone traveling with me all pretty much ask why total strangers approach me. I need to hang a no trespassing sign around my neck.

thanks for the advice :-) That is exactly what I would tell my daughter, friend, sibling ....I don't know why I hesitate when it is me.

My husband is from NYC; he claims if Nova acted like that in NY she would be in the morgue. It wasn't awful. Just annoying, then I felt stalked by her latent hostility and then the let me see your tattoos thing was just way beyond acceptable.


I did call Steve and tell him about the unpleasant aspects of dealing with Nova. He said Nova told him I looked to her like a woman who had damaged her car in the parking lot and had driven away without owning up. Not sure how that adds up to her accusations but sanity did not appear to be among her assets.

Aunty Belle said...

On K9's glass museum post...ya said....

sparringK9 said...

psycho obama voter

fishy said...

I like the glass, and the dog.

You nailed it. Seems like these days the people who annoy me .... I am thinking on the back channel they were obamanation supporters. I feel true hostility toward people who voted for him and who still "hope".
Idiots every one.

grins said...

I was visiting one of my stores (well not my store just one I was managing) and a girl came up to me and called me Dr. blah blah. This always happened in this particular store so I assumed there must be a doctor that looked like me. She was pregnant and said she was on her way to her appointment to see me.I said you have me mistaken for someone else. She said no she had just seen me last week. I was in a peculiar mood and asked why she wanted to see me and she told me. I slapped the counter and told her to hop up on here and let's have a look. She just looked funny and left. I'm glad the manager of that store had a sense of humor or I'd have been fired. He was still laughing when I left.