Sunday, February 28, 2010

Fizzy Waters

I left for a 5 day get acquainted trip with the Fizz.

2000+ miles and 15 days later I am returned to the Pond.
I did pack my laptop but not the power cord. My bad.
I could have used more than one pair of shoes and 4 clothing changes too.

There was more Fizzing along than my new transport.
I had a very Fizzy brain too.
"Time" was a recurring theme.
Time in the larger sense.
Not the I need to find a gas station now sense.

Time in the sense of time to this point and
defining new goals for the time to come.
Such a simple sentence for such anything but simple complexities.
People are complex, lives are complex, decisions are complex.
Somewhere in the back channel thoughts about time have been percolating.
I actually do know the exact place and reason the thoughts were ignited.
One of those days where reality over runs you and takes your measure.

Time keeps on
into the future

Remember this tune? I don't want my time to slip into the future.
I maybe want, very badly, to not slip-up into the future either.

If I did movie clips I might do a Mermaid favorite from A Knight's Tale.
The scene where Chaucer is traveling naked down the path,
when questioned about what he was doing his response was "trudging"
questioned again he responded " to trudge ...."

I also wish not " to trudge".
I'd like to think my trudge years are behind me but ,
what if they are slipping back into my future?

I have a different favorite scene from the same movie,
I love Williams belief in a mans ability to
" change his stars"
He refused to run,
claimed to be a knight from inside out
outside in
as it appeared.

He stood for his belief in self and in fact,
changed his stars.
A fairy tale?
But even the Grimm brothers could tell you their most successful tales all hold a lesson of truth.

I suspect the message permanently markered onto my makeup mirror is also about time.
This message says:
" There are only two reasons a woman abandons her dream,
The first is because she might realize her dream,
The second is because she might not,
Without the dream, she is lost"

All along I have thought this is a statement about making a choice.
A statement to choose and then pursue.
A statement about pursuing a dream of your own choosing.
A statement which reinforces the concept of :
the difference between a dream and a goal
Is a time line and an action plan.

Dreams rarely become reality.
Goals ARE reached
Dreams require no effort
Goals require a comprehensive strategy
And effort.

Now I think the markered mirror message is about timing.
When I was five,
I dreamed of having a baby brother.
When I was fifteen,
the dreams definitely were not about babies or brothers.
When I was twenty five
I was not thinking of Chaucer's " to trudge" but,
I had not pursued or prepared for my dream so trudge I did.
Daily. Weekly. Montly. Yearly. Endless trudging.
Right foot, left foot. Right foot, left foot into the future.

Then I changed my stars.
I identified the dream,
Strived for years to achieve the dream,
Lived the dream,
Enjoyed the dream,
Shared the dream,
OWNED the dream.

Only it wasn't a dream.
It was my goal described as " the dream".

Time is evolving my dream.
Perhaps a new dream is forming.
I think it is an extension, or maybe a natural progression, of the original dream.
But I have to define it.
Form an action plan and a time line.
Part of the Fizzy brain syndrome, and part of the miles, were in pursuit of that definition.
A return to the status of hunter/gatherer.
For information .
To aid in the formulation of a new strategy for
time coming to a future near me.

I am mindful of the Julia Roberts movie about her best friends wedding.
The scene where she so earnestly pleads,
" Choose me"
What that line means to me is " Choose wisely"
Don't have a panic attack and clutch for the comfortable and familiar.
Choose growth, choose stretching of self, choose challenge, choose rather than default to ...

Vows are about time.
I promise to .... forever
Well, does that mean I will love , honor, cherish another exactly as I do on this day for all eternity? Of course not. Impossible. Time changes us. We can still love, honor, cherish for all our days but it will be a fluid , living, evolving, honoring of the promise.

I love being Mermaid's mother.
Our home is filled with photographs of captured joy.
The essence of the days depicted.
These are cherished photographs, cherished memories and
they will never happen again.
Other joys will build on the foundations we have laid down.
In this current time, and in future time.

Time is a fluid, living, evolving reality.
Mermaid is grown.
Mermaid lives hundreds of miles from home.
I live hundreds of miles from my own mother.
Do we love each other less because of the miles?
Certainly not.

So why,
given the realities of time being a fluid, living , evolving reality
would I think a change in dream or goals would be unusual?
Requiring all this fizzy brainwork?
But necessary to prevent slippage.


Jenny said...


Fishy has been on quite a journey and you know what I say to that?


Fizzy Waters, I would say the least. I more to say, but it would all sound cliche. HOWEVER.....

I get it.

h said...

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.

rubyandelmer said...

Decision by indecision is still a decision. Pick a plan and go for it!

Ruby & Elmer

fishy said...

Thank You Boxer.

Thank you Troll.

fishy said...

Ruby and Elmer,
I have no intention to replace
"to trudge"
" to dither".

Pam said...

Welcome back! Sounds like you had a much needed R&R fizzy trip. I have that recurring "time" concept in my head often. I know that one day there will be not enough time, but for now my mantra is "life is short, live how you want". I hope all is well with you and you enjoyed your fizzy vehicle trip. Did you just drive and keep on driving?

Karl said...

Good morning Fishy,

Seems like the trip full of reflexion and introspection. Both can be good when used to help understand lessons learned, although dwelling too long can reduce the benefit.

Hope part of the trip was: Hotdog, this is a great new ride and wow isn't this scenery great.

fishy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
fishy said...

"Life is short, live how you want"
requires financing. It also requires the participant to define the "want".
Let's just say the trip kept evolving.
Blowfish would ask daily,
" Fishy, are you coming home soon?"

Good Afternoon Karl,
Agreed. Obsessing and reflection are not synonymous!

The Fizz was a great partner on this trip. Fully capable of matching all my moods. We had a few "getting to know you issues" but I am thrilled with this wonderful, functional, fizzing, sculpture.

chickory said...

you know, there is a kind of person in the world that just loves to remind you that your dream was "this" or "that" or that you once said "this" or "that". some people dont change because to do so might acknowledge that the previous path was in fact not the correct one, or perhaps youve outgrown it or whatever.

sometimes someone might say something like "but you said blah blah blah" two years ago! and i will say something like...well a lot more information has come to light since then and now i think "x" but i reserve the right to think "y" in the future.

same thing with dreams and goals. if you evolve then i think the path will be a bit in flux -your core is still the same and the destination may beconstant -but always know that you can step off the trail and shag a new one through the woods.

dont let the hamsters in their wheels tell you what's what, either.

my *few* mom friends would say: when are you going to have children? you dont know what youre missing!

and i would say "thats right. i dont know what i am missing, therefore, im not missing it"

my dad used to say "everybodys got to be somewhere" and that used to sound like a bunch of nothing but i get it now. just be sure the somewhere you choose is your choice -not anyone elses. i doubt that would happen to you, dear fishy.

hunter gatherer, huh? i understand.

moi said...

Welcome back, Fishy! Glad you got a trip with some Fizz, even if it was heavy with pondering. I'll echo Boxer: I get it. For many, many years, me and time, we walked uphill together along what seemed like an endless slope. Trudging steps were in order. Now, standing here in the middle of life, I can see down the hill and whoa, THAT slope is much shorter. How DOES that happen?

fishy said...

Yep, been out and about hunting and gathering data to help me define and choose the next phase of my path.
I, like you, believe America is in trouble. Small business owners, especially those of us in non-essentials, are seriously at risk from multiple threat sources.

And too, I agree, no outside permission is needed as applies to personal growth or pursuits. We should not have to be queried on our desire to progress from "x" to "y" to "z". If you life is not fluid is it then static? I have no desire to become a stationary object.

One of my sibs recently said the following:
"Did the blacksmith know Henry Ford was forever changing his client base? Did calligraphers anticipate the long term effects of the Guttenburg invention?"

Change IS normal.
Reading the signs of change as it applies to our lives/professions/interests is the trick.
the genesis of the hunter-gatherer
fizzy mission trip.

fishy said...

Good to hear from you!
Lots of pondering while fizzing along from source to source gathering info. It can be so easy to get confined to the regional picture. I needed to get out of here and take the pulse of other businesses like mine to gauge the differences. Which are thriving, which are not and why? No question there is a paradigm shift happening. I just need to read it correctly and plan accordingly.
"just" is maybe a euphemism in this application.

Jenny said...

"no change comes about unless there is a crisis"

This is what a Professor said the first day of class for Political Science. I have applied it to most every part of my life since then.

Change is hard and many people wait until it's too late to get the message.

I hope you keep posting about your what you're thinking/doing.

Katie's Design Perspective said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
fishy said...

I think to change to prevent a crisis is a good idea. Some crises have advanced warning (think hurricanes) others do not (think forest fire)

I agree with Troll, Ruby and Elmer in that there is hesitancy and indecision in a lack of commitment to new directions. I have a hernia producing collection of new references which I have commenced studying. So far these tomes are confirming my observations and my fears. I am committed to making a change, it's just that I hope to get it right from step one.

Like K9 shared from her Dad, "everyones got to be somewhere"
I get that, but I also want to be in the position to choose for myself that "somewhere".

At some level I am hoping this input of data to the onboard super computer will result in one of those 2am AHHaaaa events.

Thanks for the encouragement.
You are a treat.

joe said...