Monday, November 8, 2010

Sunday's Heartbreak









My heart is broken,
my hopes are dashed,
my Sundays bleak.

Woe.

Bryan Caswell will not be the next Iron Chef.
Which means he will not be filling my screen on Sunday nights.
He who " looks like a linebacker but cooks like a ballerina".
He who looks  really, really fine.


He who looks really, really fine and,
makes really fine food?
Not, buffet food.
Fine food. An up and coming Food and Wine 2009 spotlighted chef. Recognized for his cooking, not his looks. Really.

An honest to God handsome, talented chef.

The man has charm.
The man has a great smile.
The man has respect for his fellow chefs.
The man has  passion for his food.
The man has a desire to prepare and provide an awesome experience for those who eat his food.
The man has a  James Beard Foundation Award.




Now


I don't intend to sound critical but if I were judge Donatella, this vision in chefs whites would not have been the one out the door. I don't know that I believe an Iron Chef  should excel in cupcake arranging or buffet lines.



I understand Chef Caswell is well respected for his fine Gulf Coastal seafoods.   His fine Texas Que. His fine balancing of flavors . Flavors ingeniously balanced like a fine ballet. We all know ballerinas are amazing atheletes so to me a linebacker- ballerina- chef sounds very Iron Chefish.  What were they thinking ???????

 Chef Bryan has hair,  no visible tatoos or piercings , speaks well and serves up that fine smile along with those exquisitely nuanced victuals.  Now, because a panel of judges have no sense, this Sunday night vision is lost. Lost!!!! To millions of  woman who have spent  Sundays in service to God, in service to the traditional Sunday dinner expectations, in service to those who cannot emerge from the sofa  whilst never ending football is broadcast. Those women who finally by 9pm get to take a seat and enjoy the present of a fine looking man rippling those muscles under his chefs coat in order to flip a heavy skillet of yummms with a
quick perfection. Forfeit the pleasures of watching this fine man-chef  herd succulent meats around the flames until perfection is achieved? Did those judges not appreciate how beautifully his offerings were presented? Cinderellas prince could not have served up the glass slipper with any more grace or style.
 It's outrageous!   Do those judges not see us panting for his food?

Maybe we should take a branding iron to those judges?
There should be some just punishment for a panel of judges who
would callously  dash the fantasies of millions of women !

Is there a better fantasy than a fine looking, sweet talking,
easy going, gifted chef serving up charm and  dinner?
Not at my house.
Not any day of the week.
And
Never On Sunday

14 comments:

Boxer said...

Dear Fishy,

I am most sorry for your loss

;-)

Signed,

Boxer

Doom said...

No heartbreak, my barn door simply doesn't swing that way... but I was disappointed too. Actually, come to think of it, that he is not inked, stuck, freakish in other ways, and speaks English (and was mannered, come to think about it)... yeah. But it was his food too. Personally, I think they made a mistake.

I cannot remember where he is the chef and or owner, but perhaps he might be easier to track down and enjoy his cuisine now?

fishy said...

Boxer,
Thank you.
I do appreciate your proper show of gravitas toward this travesty.

Doom!
Nice of you to spash in here at the Pond.
Just pointing out... I mentioned the food too. They definitely made a mistake and you are right. It would have been equally poor judging had he been sporting all sorts of body adornments. However, if a chef cooks awesome food AND looks that fine? Well,
there is no to need decorate :-)

Aunty Belle said...

Fishy, face it, Sugar Pie, ain't no real judges worth the meaning of the word out thar' in TV cosmos.

Echoes of Project Runway? youbetcha'
'cause the POINT ain't the food, the point is the drama an' food is the prop. Gag. I thought Iron Chef wuz a notch up from Top Chef. An' it is, but fer pete's sake folks!!!

Fishy, whar' is Caswell's restaurant?

Doom-O!!

Hey ole' friend!! How's ya been? SO pleased to see ya pop up again.

Troll said...

You need to forward this to Chef Caswell (I assume he has a website) and to Food Network. I'm sure they have a comment section or a blog or something.

I've only seen two episodes but that includes Sundays where Caswell got booted.

I thought the winner deserved to win but I'd have sent the Chinese Guy or the Girl home. In BOTH episodes I've seen Chinese guy made fundamental mistakes that would flunk you out of Culinary School.

fishy said...

Aunty,
That fine South chef haild from Houstom where he and his wife own three restaurants:
Reef
Little Big's
Stella Sola

I'm thinking we should maybe start planning a bloggers road trip. It is closer than Turkey after all.

Troll,
I think "Chinese guy" who is Chef Tsai is the heavyweight favored by the network. I know he is a noteworthy chef but you are right he does make significant mistakes which he waves away as being insignificant. He does not however, overlook even lesser mistakes of his competitors.
I find this irksome. Also, as a character trait, not Iron Chefworthy.

One of the reasons I mourn the loss of Chef Caswell is I DO find his character Iron Chefworthy.
One of the things which had me cheering for Chef Garcas last season was his behavior, his attitude, his statements were all as stellar as was his food.

Chef Tio, the one remaining female contestant will, I expect, be the next to go because too many of the panel do not find her creative or resourceful enough to be an Iron Chef. Since they have already stated this, why is she still there? Her pigtails aren't that cute.

Karl said...

Good afternoon Fishy,

I've never seen the show, so I can't comment one way or another. But if you like him that's good enough for me.

I have known a few people that were tattooed with sleeves and you'd never know it until they took their shirt off. Maybe you should strip this guy, just to make sure he's really do you think he is;)

Karl said...

That would be: who he is.

fishy said...

Karl,
I would volunteer for that duty but his wife might object. The show is on Sunday nights at 9pm EST and is worth the one hour investment

Karl said...

I believe the show is on cable, I just can't bring myself to pay for TV. And Sunday nights here "The Big Broadcast" on 88.5 FM. Old time radio shows. In the 9:00 hour it would be Fibber McGee and Molly or Our Miss Brooks, if I'm still awake that's what I'm listening to.

If you want to have an interesting listen, find WAMU 88.5 on the Internet and try listen live on Sunday's from 7:00 PM on. It's a real blast from the past.

fishy said...

Karl, Thank you.
There is no doubt there are lots of evenings where vintage radio is the superior entertainment available.

I assume, because of our form of communication, you do invest in internet or live in a wi-fi zone.
Type "Food network" into the search engine, then select "The Next Iron Chef" from the topmost banner. I am not certain if they have webcasts of this show but they have a variety of videos from each show as well as commentary from the judges , etc.

Bravo! Karl for the no cable. It's aways nice to know there are those who will not be compromised.

The first time Blowfish came to pick me up for a date he was shocked to his core to learn I did not own a tv. Now I live in a house with 5 televisions and 4 computers. A return to radio might be my preference.

Kymical Reactions said...

Fishy. I'm not a follower of Top Chef, but maybe with contestants like that, I can be persuaded to start watching.

Please come over. I have an announcement.

Auntie said...

Chef Caswell is my nephew and is not only a great chef and good looking but a great person with a kind heart. I couldn't wait till Sunday nights to crawl up on the couch with the cat and watch my nephew. He had never been in the bottom two like the others have so you're right it was a big disappointment. However, he made a great showing for Houston and for his family. We are more than proud!!

moi said...

I haven't watched Iron Chef in ages. Mainly because the memory of that weird host with his weird facial expressions and the mismatched vocal soundtrack is still etched into my brain. But I gather much has changed since then?