Thursday, June 18, 2009
Some things gain clarity with a change of perception or perspective.
Earlier this week I walked through the door of a building to pay a learned man to cut off part of my nose. A really tiny part, but it did require some needle work, some blades and a most unattractive bandage perched on the very tip. I am not black and blue, no stitches required,
I don't hurt unless I forget myself and bump my nose while donning glasses. The "site" has to be kept moist with vaseline, and covered to protect from sunlight. This is an inconvenience, not a tragedy.
When I showed up back home with the Bozo bandage, Blowfish was taken aback,
"Fishy, what is that"?
" A bandage"
" What's under than bandage"?
" My nose".
But I did go on to explain the happenings of the day.
" You had nose surgery without telling me"?
I explained to Blowfish I had been to the "primary" doc last week and asked about a change in a "freckle" and the surrounding tissues. The primary took a look and declared there was "nothing" to be concerned about. He rather sternly reminded me he had so adjudicated on my previous visit. I declared how I understood these sorts of changes ought to be investigated , and that additional changes had occurred since our last exam. So the primary said he'd get his "girl" to schedule a visit to a specialist if,
"I wanted to waste my money and the insurance companies. "
So I went feeling a bit foolish and wasteful.
I departed feeling less foolish, less wasteful but feeling strange about the Bozo bandage.
I had to stop at the drug store to buy the things for "wound care" as advised.
This was my first experience with going public with the bandage front and center. The girl stocking the aisles stopped immediately to help me locate the necessary products. Cheerful and helpful and not staring too much.
After the pharmacy, I stopped at the Shell station to top off the tank. While engaged in this activity a man drove up adjacent to my position, got out, gave me a nod, stopped and stared a bit then got back in his car and drove away.
This was the beginning of the reactions, split pretty evenly between the gracious and the not so gracious. I find it funny, not hurtful or awkward. Some have said, " Oh, I hardly noticed", which is quite impossible. Others have said, " I wouldn't leave my house if I looked like that"
Back to Blowfish, who asked,
" What does it look like under that bandage"?
" I have no idea".
"When will you know"
" When I replace the bandage in the morning".
" Say Fishy, you might want to make it, well, a smaller bandage".
So the next morning I had a private unveiling. Some swelling and redness, maybe even purpleness and right in the middle it looks like someone stubbed out a cigarette on the tip of my nose. NOT a pretty site. No chance whatsoever that I would be going forth without covering up that unsettling vision. That was BEFORE I discovered the challenges of getting a smaller bandage to stay put on vaselined flesh of an odd shape. Quite the frustrating experience until I figured out, with a bit of modifying, I could use bandaids made for staying put on fingers.
This is not attractive but it is a bit less Bozo. Also, the bandaids are "flesh" toned and more or less follow the contours of my nose which has led to a new set of responses. That is because at first folks don't notice and when they do it is comical to watch them struggle with their response. To speak? To not speak? To converse with my face or my shoes?
One of my clients stopped in Tuesday and laughed out loud. She offered to fetch a sharpie and write "nose surgery" on the bandage so people wouldn't think I was on the losing side of an unfriendly altercation. I passed on her offer.
Another client came in with her just getting into the self absorption stage of early teen years who looked at the attraction in the middle of my face and said, " OMG! OMG! I would die before I would go out in public like that!". After which she escaped to wait in the car before her mother recovered from the shock of her daughters behavior. I laughed and told the Mom, there was not enough lucre on the planet to bribe me into being that age again.
Thing is, I am traveling this weekend for Father's Day.
I will still be bandaged .
So I will get the full experience of " the public" and "the family" responses.
Wonder how many of those folks will think I should have just stayed home?