Friday's Mix

My Friday was mixed. A bit of in office work, a bit of out of office work, run a few errands. A quiet day.

Once home I grabbed the bags of groceries
and headed inside to prep a meal Blowfish would enjoy solo. I had plans to attend  the opening party for a juried show at our local Arts Center. I was a bit rushed trying to prep dinner quickly so I could get on with getting me prepped for the evening.

Art openings are interesting. It is pretty typical to find folks there dressed for a gala in conversation with folks dressed in holy jeans and dirty shirts.  There is an undercurrent of competition to these things, both from those with entries in the show and those attending.
It can be daunting to enter a room where you know dozens of people will be appraising you with an artists eye. It also can be very entertaining. If you enter into this activity with a fun loving spirit then a good time is to be expected.  These days I  allow myself extra time to get ready because of the artists eye thing. So the experience will be fun not stress.

While still in the Kitchen, some movement caught my eye out in the Garden Room.  Something was swinging back and forth but I could not tell what it was. Soon as I got the chicken to browning I went to take a closer look. At first I wasn't sure what I was seeing, partly because of the pendulum motion but also because  there was  glare on the window. To my dismay it became clear there was a tiny hummingbird trapped in a spider's string which was anchored at the gutter of the Garden Room Roof.

I turned down the chicken and went outside.

We did have a week of  cooler Fall  weather but then returned to mid 90's heat with lots of humidity, zero rain and daily ozone warnings. Being late afternoon it was an oven with heat radiating outward from the Low-E windows exactly as intended. I told myself to be quick about this because I would be hot and sweaty in minutes and I did not have time to deal with my damn hair before the party. ( See Fish Stories 10-15-09 )

The bird was trussed up in that sticky spider's string like a sacrificial offering. I thought it was dead so I went to get a broom to sweep that sad vision away but at the first swipe I heard a tiny sound and then as the bird swung around on the string an eye opened and stared into mine.  Clearly there was hope so a change of plans was in order. It was off to the garage for a ladder and gloves to facilitate a rescue.  Once I was eye level with the Hummingbird I could see I would need to hold the bird in one hand so it would not fall while I broke the
spider's string. Then I would have to figure out how to get all the trussing sticky off that incredibly tiny  bird  before letting it go. There was no assurance "go" would be a possibility but I never thought to not try.

While making these assessments I slowly became aware of another movement right before the biggest spider I have ever seen jumped for me. Spider was in the mood to defend it's prey, my size was no deterrent.  I did not react quickly enough before the spider sprang forth landing half in my hair and half on my face. I took the express trip off the ladder screaming and flailing.  I won the battle but not without smashing that spider into my hair.

You can imagine the things I said while re-setting the ladder and returning to the rescue.

Have you ever held a Hummingbird in your hand? Wow! However that business about being tiny and fragile made  it a challenge to figure out how to hold it gently enough to do no harm yet firmly enough to be able to remove  the massive amounts of sticky . I think the more the bird moved in it's efforts for freedom the more trussed it became. Mummies could have been less wrapped.  Awful.  But as progress was made in the removal the bird became more animated, more determined to be free and eventually we reached a point where I could just open my hand and see what happened. Miraculously that tiny, tiny  oh-so-beautiful bird  hovered in place for a few seconds before  flying off to the interior of our giant Cecile rose.
Amazing.
I felt blessed to be a participant in good prevailing.

Did I mention the heat index was  in the triple digits?  I was sweaty hot, dirty and was sporting smashed spider as a hair ornament. Naturally the only thing to do was turn the hose on myself.  I  flushed spider from my hair , drank from the hose and filled the bone dry bird bath. Immediately the Hummingbird emerged from the Cecile and went for a swim. Did you know Hummingbirds have a chirp? It's loud too.

Ultimately watching the Hummingbird chirp and groom itself in the birdbath taught me a lot about  resiliency and moving on. A few minutes earlier that bird had been on the death pendulum . Now it was engaged in life, having a good splash and making  a cheery statement. It might look a beautiful, tiny fragile creature but in truth it is a mighty warrior.  Lesson learned.

Made Me Smile

Here lately I have been a bit glum.
Okay, more than a bit.
So this week I organized my life around this concept,
 " What would make me feel good?"

One of the things I did was do some home love. You know that saying about the cobblers children have no shoes? Well this designer's home was showing some designery neglect.. But the weather changed, we stopped the canned air and threw open the windows. On the first morning after the opening I came down the stairs thinking , " this feels different". It certainly did , the  air felt different the house smelled different and suddenly all I wanted to do was love my home again.

Even my beloved bailing wire horse sculpture needed to be de-spidered. Sometimes those arachnids like to nest smack in the horses belly.
They can be hard to spot until one day a web falls into your cup of tea.

I am not one who can make things look good on the surface while ignoring what lies beneath. So what ensued was furniture hauling, detailed vacuuming of shelves full of memorabilia from our lives, ( think slow and tedious) plenty of scrubbing and polishing. I set up a fairly interesting mix on one of the online radio sites and occasionally took a break to shake my assets and sing off key.

another spider hiding place is in the rush seats

Y'all should  be grateful you could neither hear or witness these spontaneous interludes. I also took this  opportunity to rant aloud my perspective on the issues causing the glums.
It's best y'all couldn't hear that too. I expect it sounded even worse than Moi's rant about the injudicious elimination of Cassanova. ( I agree with her totally).

 I was on such a satisfying rip I carried on until I'd shouted out my wrath about the Mosques and the Quran burnings and the coming home from Iraq speech and National Parks getting signed over to the UN and the BLM land grabs and the horrors of the NJ eminent domain travesties making its way to the Supreme Court.  I  ended up spilling my opinions on the "difficulties" our Constitution poses to the UN  when it comes to "rights" of individual ownerships which interfere with the proposed UN takeover of our grasslands and moving of the "populous" to"designated urban centers".  Lets just say  ' shoot to kill' was heard more than once. I might even have been foaming at the mouth like some rabid beast by the time I got around to the idea it could be legal anywhere, for any reason, to sponsor a public death by stoning.

On Labor Day I went to a  civic festival which started with
5,000 people saying the Lord's Prayer followed by us all reciting the Pledge of Alligence. Standing, with  hands over hearts. I did not hear one voice protest either one of these traditions.  Our amazing county band/orchestra then played an ensemble of the theme songs of each branch of military service  having asked those attendees who had served to please stand for recognition while their branch was honored. Watching some of the elderly rise with pride and struggle to  stand straight during the honor was a clutch moment for me. I so don't want respect , honor, might  and love of  our nation to perish. Integrity and decency should always prevail.

Following the concert there was a wonderful fireworks display. Lots of red, white and BOOM!
I liked it, I went home mostly relaxed and slept for 4 straight hours for the first time in weeks. Ok, months.


Somewhere along the way  the multiple issues with the new high speed wireless modem,  and the new laptop mostly got resolved. The modem was replaced as was the new laptop. The laptop manufacturer, would NOT replace their equipment which was found by their tech to have a defective wireless adapter B as well as a dysfunctional mother board. Would Not. I on the other hand, took the print outs of the findings and the recommendations of their own tech to 'replace'  and the company 'decline to replace' to the point of purchase and asked them to recognize it was not good business. They replaced the laptop.  I will return this exchanged laptop if there is a single issue since I know  " customer support" is actually " corporate protectionism".


Later in the week  I took a senior friend/client on a day trip to one of my favorite mountain retreat towns.
It was spectacular day, really beautiful and  enjoyable.  Except for the  anxious moments when the leisurely stroll became an issue because Constance forgot to use her prescription inhalers before leaving home.  I did ask her what the inhalers were for and was shocked at the response," chronic bronchitits, emphysema, COPD"  She was gasping for air on a deserted hillside while I was trying to get a cell phone signal  when I asked
 " Why on Earth did we take this walk if you having breathing issues?"
 Her answer,

" Because I wanted to see this". We were  on the grounds of a beautiful Inn but there were not others around  this particular hillside. NO signal and no one in shouting distance.  Eventually her breathing returned to normal and we took a half hour to finish a five minute walk to the Dining Room. Other than that scare it was all beautiful and then we went exploring at some of my favorite designer haunts.

I love this place

very bullish

These cattle looked very friendy and very  big

Does this English hare look like $400 to you?

just add flowers

I didn't get these fishys, clay was too gray

these chickie chickies were 50% off

I might have bought these at the Paris fleamarket myself if I had francs to go with the wants.

This little Frenchy did come home with me because one of my earliest childhood memories is permanently etched into my face. Compliments of one of these  little pups who missed the cookie and got me instead. All is forgiven and what fun continetal folk art! Cripes, looks like I need to revise the date setting on the camera.

Maybe I'll have another week of therapy, it seems to be working. I think I smiled today.

Comforts

Seems like most all of us in the Troll Family of Bloggers is in need of a hug.

I think we are all  badgered by the news on every continent.

 Maybe by just too much Summer heat, or the long Gulf worry.

Perhaps extended angst over business or economics is wearing us down.

 Worst of all, maybe we are stressed over loved ones in jeopardy or lost.

The why doesn't matter. There's enough to go around. Plenty.

So here is my hug to you bloggers.
Images of things which comfort :-)

TROLLING

Surfside vacation

Fishy's on Crescent Beach soon

Lunch @ Salty Dog?

Burning Truths & Guineas

 I have siblings.
Together we share parents each of whom have cardiac issues. We will soon lose our mother to this  illness or it's side effects. Our dad is otherwise in reasonable health and has a new edition pacemaker.  We hope to enjoy him a few more years. Maybe another decade?

During one of Mama's touch and go hospitalizations, her cardiologist looked at those of us gathered around the bedside and asked this question, " You have each had a cardiac evaluation and baseline stress test, right"? I am sure we looked like a bobble head line up . None of us bobbled affirmatively. He glanced toward our stricken mother then flipped her chart open while saying, " Didn't your grandmother suffer from congestive heart failure too"?  She did.  Before Doc Cardio left the room he illuminated  the genetic probabilities for us.

As far as I can  remember we didn't much comment on these illuminations.
None of  whipped out our cell phones to schedule stress tests either.

Now that I am the official siblings test guinea I can tell the others to come out of  the shadows and step onto the treadmill. It won't kill you. Or hurt you. Really, scouts honor and hope to spit.

Rarely do the waiting room brochures describe your upcoming experiences. That is surely why God invented siblings.


I will admit to a wee twinge of anxiety when they started an IV so not once, but twice, I could have radioactive material injected into my bloodstream. I might have asked about the " first do no harm" idea but the folks doing this part of the prep were not docs and who knows what oaths they utilize? At least the IV got started on the first stick and not the sixth.

Following this introduction they process you into a room where  one technician , one Nuclear Cardiology PA, one treadmill and a CPR cart are  standing by. No question these folks are knowledgeable pros who do their best to explain things clearly to prevent anxiety. They did mention the need to attach a dozen or so electrodes to my chest.  They did NOT mention the need to  first sandpaper my skin to improve adherence of the electrodes being attached.  Okay, this was a bit uncomfortable but not unlike a dozen skinned knees. Nothing
noteworthy. It's not even hard to be still and not itch the sandpapered areas while they take your vitals and  do a baseline EKG before "getting started".

Following this they explain the treadmill, 12% incline at blah-blah speed to get the cardio beats per minute above 140 for a sustained period. The EKG machine records cardiac function under stress and then later an imaging machine allows them to see how well my radioactive injected blood was making the journey through my coronary arteries. Okay. Clever technology to make my blood radioactive so it could be seen without need for scalpels.

They had no  cheerful 12 pack cutie standing by to encourage me to " go for the burn" because, trust me, the burn will get there. My daily hour with wii advanced step aerobics is not even vaguely similar to this treadmill routine. I had muscle burns everywhere . Everywhere.  And then there was the breathing. That loud, labored sucking noise was indeed coming from me.  Twenty years ago , following the great neck breaking debacle, I was forbidden to ever more do any activity which bounces my neck. I have not jogged or run a  single step since then. I have not swum laps since moving to the Pond as I do not bathing suit in public. While I do "power walk" and wii, these mild maintenance protocols are not aerobic workouts. It was not pretty. I was a burning, sweat soaked, air sucking mess trying desperately to not end up face down on a treadmill.  The "team" chattily tell you  everything is fine when your brain is telling you it's time to fall on your knees and repent .  They also tell you they will continue to measure  cardio  function during the  "recovery" from the treadmill exertions.  Right. As if you could actually  hear what they say with that much wooshing in your ears.

The next part is down the hall to spend half an hour getting your coronary arteries imaged. The fact the machine looks like a 007 set where men with metal teeth try to kill you is irerelevant.  It's just a machine and  while it looks like it is going to crush any remaining breath from your tortured lungs, it actually doesn't touch you at all.  You 'get' to return 2.5 hours later to repeat the images.

Not hard in any way.

Unless you have a hard time being still. Or going hungry for 16 hours. They let you know results in 24 hours if they are normal, they call your doc if results are not. 

My results: NORMAL.

No cardiac issues found.

No valve issues.

No compression issues.

No vascular issues.

NORMAL  :- )

So maybe I have dodged a genetic bullet.

What I cannot dodge is this eye opening reality.

Get in shape NOW. It does not get easier as you add years.

Making the Effort

You know  the saying,
 " it isn't if you win or lose, it's how you play the game which counts"?
I do not agree with this. Just a quick review of the days headlines  will smack you upside the head with a reality check. Right, lots of examples of how you can play by the rules and lose everything while the bad guys get paid bonuses to steal your future. Then of course we can get totally stressed and confused with the scarey notions of staving off de-flation by forcing in-flation. Right.
Sadly, we did this to ourselves by returning to power those who have forgotten the people they are elected to serve. I know, Pollyanna again.

In a recent conversation a wise friend mentioned her viewpoint about  how this November is critical to our nations survival. Wiseone believes if Americans do not oust incumbents then we are doomed. A clean sweep is my idea of marvelous but not all agree with me.  And I get her point, if daily headlines are insufficient to move voters off their sofas? What then can we expect.

I talked with another friend  asking if our nation unravels where would he go? The response was deliberately vague leading me to wonder if he does indeed have a spot picked out. Or purchased?
What was interesting to me is this. Five years ago had I asked this question I would have been laughed out of acceptance. Now, the question is never a surprise and answers are cagey. " Not sure, you"? or
" my decision is as unstable as the Euro".  Does this mean the relocation isn't European or is it simply meant to divert the conversation?

On a recent longish drive I gave some thought to:  if this could happen how?
How much money could be realized from  liquidating all assets and would it be enough to live elsewhere to my end? Unknown. And, where is better? Can I resolve to live in a dirt floor hut reeking of bug spray and draped in netting to prevent malaria?

 Not likely.

Some images are not funny.  At the top of the cartoon dollar  do you see what it says?
 "Federal Reserve Note". Since we have no Federal Reserves will newly printed paper money say at the top , " Federal Debt Certificate"?  Is this our reality? Years ago I remember my grandmother having a fit about money. She ranted about the time when the government switched from " Silver Certificates" to "Federal Reserve Note".  Her story was the government gave citizens a deadline for exchanging their old silver certificates for the notes. She hotly contested this because one was a guarantee of value backed by silver, the other "just a damn lie". She defined this time as a government take over of private wealth and she hated those notes. She saved a bunch of silver cerificates and later in life, when her income was shrinking while expenses were increasing she took her silver certificates out of storage to cash then in at a bank. Where they told her they were expired and of no value any more. "Nonsensical!" she huffed, "this is guaranteed by the United States government and I want the full value of these from the date of issue". Her demands went unmet and her wrath at the government unrelenting.  Did I learn the lesson I should have learned from this oft told family story? Maybe. Or not.

What I am certain of is my inability to grasp the complexities of today's shifting monetary games. I am equally certain I should make the effort. So this morning I fired up the computer and set out to learn more. I read quite a bit, studied charts and graphs, visited the economic dictionary, etc. What I  learned is questionable. What I earned was a masive headache. I headed outdooors for an exercise cure .

Three hours later, at 100% personal humidity,  I headed indoors for a shower and some lunch. I turned on the flat screen for diversion and to my surprise rapidly became immersed in the story of Temple Grandin. It is a wonderful story.  The acting of both Clare Danes and Julia Ormand  were brilliant.  Temple is the daughter of a Harvard graduate who refused to have her then 4 year old daughter institutionalized for what was  called " Infantile Schizophrenia" and is now called "Autism". Temple has a PhD, teaches, writes, revolutionized an industry. She accomplished amazing things at amazing odds.

Watching this movie made me aware of how comfortable we get with the known, the perfected, the understood and how stressed we feel when we are outside that comfort. Like my research of things monetary this morning. But what if every aspect of life was outside your comfort zone? Even speaking or touching? And yet, isn't it astonishing what we ask of those who are " different but not less"?  Do we ask as much from those who are not different? Or ourselves? Not often.

So now I have said to myself, " Okay Fishy, let's say you are autistic about Math , Money, Economics. That you have spent your entire adult life being right brained which you have tried to balance by  purchasing left brain time or skills from others. Too bad, it is now time to go thru that door and learn what defeats you, learn that which busts your head with pain, learn to not be left brain lazy and to make the effort".

 Because it is about who wins and who loses and why.

Practicing "No"

Hello, is this Mrs. Fishy?

Yes

Mrs Fishy,  we are calling to inquire if you would like to donate your skills and talents to our church fundraiser again this year.

Actually no, I think it's time for others to take a turn .

Mrs. Fishy, we really do pray for guidance in our committees and it would be so very difficult to report back to the others our prayers are unanswered.

Perhaps you should revise your prayer.

I'm sorry, I am not certain I heard you correctly.

You probably did but I can be even more clear,
I will not be donating my time and talent . Please refrain  from attempting to guilt me into acceptance.
Peace be to you and good bye.


Fishy, it's me Melly, did you blow off Mrs. W about the fundraiser?

Hi Melly, haven't heard from you since last time you wanted something.

Fishy, this year our theme is  a Rio destination. Think of all the excitement generated by Carnivale. It will be a great theme for creative expression, I know you  don't want to miss this opportunity to shine and serve.

No, and I can hardly think of a less suitable subject for a church fundraiser than Carnivale.

Come on, you know we will just call you later in absolute desperation the last week and you will relent because of your good heart and then you will have missed the fun and just have  showed up for the stress.  Don't do it this way. Give of your time and talent as God intended you to do. It is in fighting God's will that we suffer.

Listen Melly, serve that dish  to someone else. We both know God's will and yours are not one and the same. Well, at least one of us does, you have always been a bit questionable.

 I, for one,  have learned to give myself over to God's will Fishy,  I urge you to find that path.

What you urge most in this world is your own bidding wrapped up in faux spirits.

Alright Fishy, if you are going to persist in being difficult I will be forced to go to our Pastor and ask him to pray for you.

He's already prays for me, I am part of his flock.

You certainly don't sound like a memeber of the flock. I mean if you were serious about being a true part of our flock you would not be getting these phone calls prodding you to do the right thing.

Melly, you can turn thaat cattle prod on yourself and leave me alone. Hope your day is a fine one, bye.

Fishy! for God's sake did you tell Melly and Mrs. W you would not help with the Rio fundraiser?

Yes

Unaccetable! I am putting you on my committee, we will be meeting next Tuesday.

I won't be there.

Nonsense!  You have a conscious and a fine soul. Time for you to give back some of that talent God gave you and I might add, with a bit more willing spirit would be a good thing.

How much is the bet?

Lunch at Lolly's

The good news is you still get to lunch at Lolly's, the bad news is you will be the one paying. I have to go now, but seriously could you tell the others I will not be volunteering this year and to stop calling me?

Why the devil are you so difficult  about this Fishy? Whatever  is getting your goat cast it aside woman!

Bye. Luck. Peace.