Monday, August 2, 2010

Practicing "No"

Hello, is this Mrs. Fishy?


Mrs Fishy,  we are calling to inquire if you would like to donate your skills and talents to our church fundraiser again this year.

Actually no, I think it's time for others to take a turn .

Mrs. Fishy, we really do pray for guidance in our committees and it would be so very difficult to report back to the others our prayers are unanswered.

Perhaps you should revise your prayer.

I'm sorry, I am not certain I heard you correctly.

You probably did but I can be even more clear,
I will not be donating my time and talent . Please refrain  from attempting to guilt me into acceptance.
Peace be to you and good bye.

Fishy, it's me Melly, did you blow off Mrs. W about the fundraiser?

Hi Melly, haven't heard from you since last time you wanted something.

Fishy, this year our theme is  a Rio destination. Think of all the excitement generated by Carnivale. It will be a great theme for creative expression, I know you  don't want to miss this opportunity to shine and serve.

No, and I can hardly think of a less suitable subject for a church fundraiser than Carnivale.

Come on, you know we will just call you later in absolute desperation the last week and you will relent because of your good heart and then you will have missed the fun and just have  showed up for the stress.  Don't do it this way. Give of your time and talent as God intended you to do. It is in fighting God's will that we suffer.

Listen Melly, serve that dish  to someone else. We both know God's will and yours are not one and the same. Well, at least one of us does, you have always been a bit questionable.

 I, for one,  have learned to give myself over to God's will Fishy,  I urge you to find that path.

What you urge most in this world is your own bidding wrapped up in faux spirits.

Alright Fishy, if you are going to persist in being difficult I will be forced to go to our Pastor and ask him to pray for you.

He's already prays for me, I am part of his flock.

You certainly don't sound like a memeber of the flock. I mean if you were serious about being a true part of our flock you would not be getting these phone calls prodding you to do the right thing.

Melly, you can turn thaat cattle prod on yourself and leave me alone. Hope your day is a fine one, bye.

Fishy! for God's sake did you tell Melly and Mrs. W you would not help with the Rio fundraiser?


Unaccetable! I am putting you on my committee, we will be meeting next Tuesday.

I won't be there.

Nonsense!  You have a conscious and a fine soul. Time for you to give back some of that talent God gave you and I might add, with a bit more willing spirit would be a good thing.

How much is the bet?

Lunch at Lolly's

The good news is you still get to lunch at Lolly's, the bad news is you will be the one paying. I have to go now, but seriously could you tell the others I will not be volunteering this year and to stop calling me?

Why the devil are you so difficult  about this Fishy? Whatever  is getting your goat cast it aside woman!

Bye. Luck. Peace.


Pam said...

Grrrhahahha. Isn't this the same event that turned into near disaster last year? Keep practicing that "no". I suppose you could say "not this year" and let them hope for next time around? Carnivale for a fundraiser ... must be Catholic or Episcopalian, but hasn't that date come and gone this year already? Keep us posted!!!!

fishy said...

What a good memory you have.
Pray for successful training and resolve!

The fundraiser isn't actually about Carnivale, but about the culture of South America. The umbrella idea is "one world" and so a different destination is the theme each year for a gala evening with food, spirits, live and silent auctions, etc .

It should be a fun event but I just lose all faith in mankind when I find myself in the midst of egos at war. "Egos for God" just doesn't work for me.

On the other hand , years ago it was me launching a
"Just say NOW" volunteer campaign.

I know first hand how hard it is to recruit good volunteers for an important, needed effort. But honestly, the usual mix of the hard workers with truly generous spirits and the glory seekers who contribute little and claim all makes me ill.

I will say no, I will say no, I will

Buzz Kill said...

Do you belong to the unification church? Expect a call from Sun Myung Moon ordering you to help with a mass wedding. Bwahahaha Your church sounds worse than a bunch of Amway salesmen and Stepford wives. You might want to consider scientology.

fishy said...

Not the Church of Stepford,
Nor the Church of Unification.
Not the cult of scientology,
Maybe the Church of Desperation?

I might should have been persuaded to the gospel of Amway! I have had 2 Amway executive clients both of whom counted their millions in the tripple digits. And both families are Catholic.

In general, I think it is getting very hard for Churches to raise funds. In this case, the fundraiser subsidizes about half the tuition costs for the children in our grammer and middle schools. Very worthy but I will say no, I will say no, I will

Pam said...

Here's what you say .... "I'm donating my time and talent by attending this year!" Heh. Beat them at their own game, I say.

Pam said...

P.S. Buzzy has hit the nail on the head in describing a good SOUTHERN church social !!!!

Unknown said...

Well Mama Fishy... you're in a pickle. I know that you want to see that church and school be successful and grow, but I also know just how awful the whole process of fundraisers can be and your somewhat allergic aversion to "committees". I wish you peace and strength in your endeavors, and I know that whatever you choose to do for them when it's crunch time and they need their butts pulled from the fire, that it too will be fabulous!

Milk River Madman said...

Hold your ground. I commend you hugely for being so gracious in all conversations. The third caller would have been received an earful from me.

fishy said...

I always make a donation. The evening is $100 per person. Food is great but my medical based diet restrictins usually means I can not eat. Fine with me, there are plenty of other things to enjoy. But! it really sticks in the Blowfish craw for me to pay a hundred to watch others eat.

Bless you, are you laughing at me? Last year it was Judy B and Brenda T who stood up in front of the alter and begged the congregants to help in the final rush.

You know Babe it isn't just that committees create camels. It's that I loathe the reality of human dynamics in these scenarios.

Thanks much for the confidence and the prayers.

If you read back through the archives I did a rant on this last year. Overwhelminly the comments were advisements to write a check and stay clear! I am trying hard to not be a fool. There must be a reason one of my sisters calls me
"Pollyana" and another relative calls me "Patsy".

The third caller I know really well. I am sure she assured the others she could recruit me...and the bet was a favored lunch spot.

Mermaid has it right, I will refuse to chair a committee or participate in planning meetings or beg for donations for the auction. But, when it gets down to the last 24 hours and really good people call for all available hands, I usually go help.

But I am trying to " hold my ground".

Jenny said...

I'm so happy to hear that you remained strong not for ONE but TWO calls. Wow. And I also remember last year.

This nearly made me spit my coffee out:

"Hi Melly, haven't heard from you since last time you wanted something"


Carnivale and Church. Nice.

Well done. Very impressed.

Jenny said...

p.s. are you going to hell for this Fishy?

Aunty Belle said...


Well now Fishy, Keep in mind it ain't the pore ole Church youse miffed wif', jes the organizers of fund raisers. I hear the ego thang-- li'l people who get a committee title an' go nutty, drunk on power over others --they think.

Donate your time and talent to yore church on a project of yore own choosin'. One thang our parish learnt is when folks can designate how the donated money and time is used, more gits donated!

Some folks work in the church garden, others donate toward new organ, some to the scholarship fund....thang is, church also means community, an' that means makin' an effort fer the community youse chosen --ain't playin' preacher, jes' sayin' contribute wehat ya' think best in yore own manner.

moi said...

Good for you for sticking to your guns. As for me, well, this just confirms my lifelong experience that religion does nothing but get in the way of my relationship with God.

Doom said...

Oh, but Fishy!?!


God bless.