Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Bonfires and Turkeys

A few weeks back Blowfish and I went to a Bonfire Party in a riding arena. It makes sense, plenty of space, no chance of the fire spreading and  when it's over just use your regular equipment for dragging the  arena.

We had a fine time, which is noteworthy because Blowfish is not often comfortable at gatherings where he does not know most of the people.  He is , however, always a foodie and the food here was good and plentiful. There were good ol boys manning turkey fryers of every description.. Some of those fryers were cooking turkeys, others were loaded up with pork shoulders or beef slabs. Tables were laden with every vegetable, casserole, salad, bread and dessert you ever heard of and probably some you have not.  Blowfish was a happy man.

On the way home from this outing Blowfish allowed as how he thought he should fetch home a turkey fryer.
This was not unexpected. I had my diversions ready.
" You  think you will miss any of your games standing out in the road watching that fryer"?
" The road?  I will be right out on the deck!"
" Who's deck are you talking about?"
" Fishy, what the tarnation is wrong with you? Our deck, right out the Garden Room door. I can look in the window and see the games just fine".
" Will that deck hold a ton of sand"?
" Well, I just do not see how you are going to build a sand pit to set your turkey fryer in up on that deck. You saw how those experienced fry men each had their own station? Reason being if one combusted  the others would not?  Could you see in the dark, each station was set up in it's own little sand pit. Not to mention they had fire extinguishers out there too."
" Fishy, didn't you love that deep fried turkey taste?"
" Yes I sure did. The fry master I chatted with allowed he had been frying his for the last decade or so. I asked him if it was easy or if there was any steepness to the learning curve. He said he didn't think he had burned up more than a dozen turkeys, one truck and one shed, but  no houses."
" Fishy. I am  getting us a turkey fryer.  I am going to cook the turkey this Thanksgiving . I will agree to putting it 50 yards from the house, the fencing, the trees  and all vehicles. I will not go all the way up to the road . I can make  a sand pit but I think it  foolish."

Yesterday, when Blowfish came home he drove that big dually truck of his  all the way down the drive nearly to the garage. I heard banging and clanging for a bit then he went on and parked the truck up in the regular spot. He usually does this sort of thing when he is unloading something heavy  to be stored in the garage.

He came in whistling. With that extra little bounce in his step that indicates this is a fella real pleased with himself.  I was in the Kitchen  tearing lettuces for our salads.
"Hi. I can see you liked your day.
 How about a glass of red while I prep dinner and you tell me about you?"
Happy man told me a lot of things about his day with nary a mention about objects in the garage. We had dinner then I had to evacuate while the heads were dissecting the SuperCommittee failures.  I am too young to have a stroke. Plus, demented women foaming at the mouth angry are never attractive. Later he wandered up to my retreat and stayed to watch Antiques Road Show with me before going down to get his daily dose of facebook love from former students.  Still no mention of new objects in the garage.

This morning Blowfish brought the paper in saying it was already getting heavy with
 the early circulars for Black Friday sales. Our normal routine is to separate the circulars
from the actual paper. We rarely review them but today I skipped the paper and went straight to studying the slicks.  Blowfish looked up from reading the paper and said, " What are you doing?"

"What for? Is there something you need?
 Are those the grocery specials you're studying?"
" I am not studying the grocers advertisements"
" Don't you want to read the paper?"
" I got more important things on my mind this morning."
" What are you looking for?"
"An early Christmas present"
" What would that be?"
" A fire extinguisher and a truckload of sand"

"You are a cruel woman!!!!!!"

" Have you seen that good hands ad about all the turkey fryer fires?I have no interest in being their  Christmas commercial. I have not said one thing against you frying  our turkey. What I am saying is take some reasonable precautions so we can all enjoy the day".

" You and I don't have the same idea about 'reasonable'."

" Shall I download the video on the proper techniques for putting out turkey fryer fires? And might I remind you the  Turkey Fry Gods of the bonfire gathering all had sandpits and extinguishers? No need for you to be acting like I ordered hazmat suits for everyone There is nothing wrong with my idea of reasonable. Yours could use a bit of fine tuning though."

Blowfish returned to his coffee and paper while I continued to read the ads.
After a bit he said, " I will bring home sand and an extinguisher today."
" Thank you".
" What are you looking for now?"
" Orange cones"
" What?"

" You know those orange safety  traffic cones?
 I don't want yo to get run over on Thanksgiving
while you are up on the road frying our turkey"


sparringK9 said...

Fried Turkey is really good - but I am with you fishy - good to get it at someonle elses house. You and the blowfish should get a reality show. yalls funny

fishy said...

LOL Fishy's as the new Kardashians!

Pam said...

I'd watch that show! "Life at the Pond with Fishy and Blowfish!" I love the fried turkey also and saw an electric turkey frier advertised somewhere that sounded a lot safer. I've been to a house where the turkey frier was out on the driveway with little kids playing around it! I was terrified. Let Blowfish cook the turkey this year and see how he takes to it! Happy Thanksgiving to you Mrs. Fishy!

fishy said...

You have questionable taste in entertainment!

Blowfish is definitely frying the Thanksgiving turkey.
I did ask him this morning why he waited so long to make his purchase. Did he think it worth the risk? What risk he asks?
I remind him to my knowledge he has never cooked a turkey, is not skilled in outdoor cooking of any description and there is only one Thanksgiving Day per year.
He looked puzzled for a bit and said, oh, I get it, you think I should have practiced first?

Jenny said...

we're making Chickory's breaded fish for our dinner this year(family full of vegetarians) but I understand why you're not looking forward to frying a bird. Nothing says Thanksgiving like calling 911. I don't even like using my little fry daddy inside. Boiling hot oil? I've seen what it can do.

Safe and Sane Thanksgiving to you Fishy and for the record?

I'd watch too.

moi said...

Good friends of ours burned their house and half dozen outbuildings down six years ago at Thanksgiving deep frying a turkey. The wife, one of those snarky South Louisiana gals for whom everything is a joke because life involves just way too much tragedy called me up after the fire department left, already drunk out of her mind on bourbon, sitting in the burnt out husk of what had been her horse barn, and wailing against her "dumb-ass Cajun dumb-ass" of a husband until she finally passed out with the phone in her hand. I didn't get my line back until the following morning.

Don't do it.

Anonymous said...

You really don't already own fire extinguishers? If so, and the fryer prompted him to get one, it was well worth it.

Aunty Belle said...

Mercy!! Oh noooo! Fishy, it's--it's --what Moi said.

Uncle say it's real good--but thas' 'cause they cook fried turkey at the huntin' camp--NOT HEAH.

So, I'll be thankful fer the report on Thanksgivin' night that y'all is all OK.

@ Troll
Uncle wnet on a tear recently--we has a new fire extinguisher--seems they have to be replaced every so often. Like fashlights--must be a man thang.

Other than organizinz' bonfires, why's ya so busy y'ain't been to see mah Paris post?

Wishin' ya the best Thanksgivin'!

fishy said...

That is a terrorizing story. My other fear is of course, we are now at a level 3 drought status so if anything did get out of control it would be one huge woooooosssshhhhh.

I Have never drunk bourbon but some fool burning my home to the ground might be an incentive to start.

We do have one in the workshop section of the garage which is for electrical fires. The one in my Kitchen was taken down when we painted and not returned. It is in a nearby closet but it is small and needs to be replaced. The one on the boat is not for general use and is close to it's expiration date. I want to have on hand a state of the art, fully loaded new extinguisher.

The bad news is Blowfish came home last evening without the promised extinguisher and without the sand.
If those two items do not come home with him tonight, I will be putting the turkey in the oven in the morning and he will have nothing to fry ....but himself.

I know you is a praying sort so you can commence prayin soon as you read this. Thanks for the help. Ya know, sometimes when I read your posts I am just a tad jealous there ain't no family camp to send Blowfish off too.

See notes to Moi and Troll about extinguishers and stuff.

I don't have the least understanding of why Blogger ate my comments. I did see your Paris windows post, loved it, and left a long comment days ago. Like you, I love the Paris shop windows as an art form and I came home with the Pylones squid whisk for Blowfish and those amazing bird scissors for me. I SHOULD have shipped home chocolates.

fishy said...


I forgot to wish everybody a joy blessed Thanksgiving.

Jenny said...

Home Depot sells ones for kitchens fires.

Buy many.

(Moi's comment is amazing.)

moi said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Fishy! I'm glad to hear Mermaid is home for the day and I hope you all enjoy the warmth of eachother's love and company. And I have decided to have faith in Blowfish's ability to wield a fryer without incident. (Still, I'm not going to breathe right until you report in after the event.)

chickory said...

Happy Thanksgiving Fish!! Hope you Blofish and the Mermaid are all stuffed with contentment.

fishy said...

Thanks for the prayers!
They worked as we Fishy's are safe and stuffed.
Blessings on you all.

moi said...