Holding the Dream

If y'all have not seen the youtube video of Susan Boyle please take a look.

I have now watched it three times, and each time I have a huge emotional response.

I am in a strange place in my head.
I , as you know, was deeply troubled by the woman having the terrible year in her terrible house. And as many of you noted, what a staggering thought to live someplace alien to your soul for twenty long years only to have your most basic need of light and space refered to as the
" foolish wishes of an old woman" I am certain the past twenty years in Chez Ugly was never any part of her dreams. ( If you missed the Easter eve post...her house is going to get improved, contractor will be on site tomorrow!) I have wondered if she even remembers her dreams, or still has them.

On another front, I've been having dreams about my mother. She is maybe ill, having some tests to determine if or what. I am praying hard for good news. In one of my recent dreams, my mother is young, full of laughter and enthusiasm and maybe what could be fairly called anticipation of what was to come. In our growing up years our Dad traveled Mondays thru Fridays. Fridays were always different at our house because Mom was different. Mom was different because her dearest love would be home for her to see, touch, feel, experience.

She bloomed every Friday.

That was long ago and really, I can hardly remember a time recently when I have seen her eagerly anticipate anything. I am not saying she doesn't, I'm saying I have not seen it. Maybe it is the result of numerous prescriptions for numerous medical issues just sapping the joy from her. Physical life is a daily struggle, but one she never shirks. I don't know if my mother still has dreams, but I do know I never want to reach the point where dreams are absent from my life.

So I was already at the point of wondering about the relationship between dreams and joy.

The adage about the journey being more important than the destination. yeah. Well, to someone as goal oriented as am I, making a long journey and not reaching the objective tends to make me
... er ..... vexxed.

So the Susan Boyle video resonated strongly with my current state of mind.
I think I heard her say she auditioned for the talent show to honor a deathbed promise to her Mum. So here came this amazing woman, a bit shy of 48, unemployed but still looking, alone in the world except for a cat . She went out on stage to face an audience of thousands and the dreaded Simon. She sang lyrics about dreams but,
was she in fact reaching for her dream, or her Mum's dream for her?
I say yeah! to her Mum for wrangling the promise. I will stand in line to buy this woman's first CD. I so hope for this woman, what comes next will be a blessing.

So Fishy wants to gain some wisdom from the bloggers.
What is your take on the relationship between dreams and joy?

Does anyone remember the story of Helen Hooven Santmyer? Helen always wanted to write a great novel but some how always put her desire to write on the back burner. Then...OMG....she was old, infirm, living in a nursing home when she realized her life was on a serious downslope and she'd never written her great novel. God only knows what was her catalyst but write she did! Helen wrote a more than 1200 page bestseller, which she finished and published at age 88.
If you have not ever read " ... and Ladies of the Club" ,
it speaks to a bygone era but to life essentials relative to all eras. All humans. I found it to be a pretty interesting "history" book too. I have kept my tattered paperback copy of Helen's book and I keep it where I can see it daily, as a bit of a prod to my psyche.

I am, as I mentioned, in a strange place in my head.
Trying to sort out my journey/ dreams/ joys and wondering if my GPS is malfunctioning.