tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post9189034107686391771..comments2023-11-02T03:51:39.411-04:00Comments on FISHY2ME: Woes Too Big for Chocolatefishyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-69537339202163786612009-11-16T07:24:13.176-05:002009-11-16T07:24:13.176-05:00Aunty Belle,
I think the family has offered multip...Aunty Belle,<br />I think the family has offered multiple invites for some possum but Beau has declined. As for Willa; my secret wish is she will invite him to be her escort during this Christmas season and take a hard look at choices and realities.<br />Especially if there is a Christmas gathering for work. <br /><br />What was that quote you sent me months back.... I think it was either Eudora Welty or Flannery O'Connor ..... about folks who don't know they's place wander thru all sorts of trouble trying to find it? <br /><br />I think Willa is wandering thru trouble. So far I haven't heard of Willa coming home tattooed.fishyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-38556775899586029932009-11-15T14:59:29.007-05:002009-11-15T14:59:29.007-05:00aw fer cryin' out loud, Fishy, let the gal hav...aw fer cryin' out loud, Fishy, let the gal have a little Appalacia onc't in awile, why doan'cha? Whas' the harm, huh? <br /><br />Yeesh--doan ya know all that mama needs to do is invite Appalachian home fer some home cooked possum. Then to coo to her Ive-edoocated li'l Dolly how DElightful it will be to have her own daughter some day --a daughter that follows in Appalacian's pattern cause, I mean, really now, clean fingernails is jes' SO uptight. An' tatoos? Well, havin' her own 3 year old wif a leerin' coon tattooed on her fanny will be such a source of levity--we all needs a laugh, right? <br /><br />I suspect she is a Trollette. She is jes' softenin' Mama an' Daddy up the real deal who by comparison will look Le Comte du Monde.Aunty Bellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13868780211706866610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-53172084192182184112009-11-15T14:02:44.891-05:002009-11-15T14:02:44.891-05:00Okay, so look for a taller version.Okay, so look for a taller version.fishyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-30399766189168903022009-11-15T13:25:29.472-05:002009-11-15T13:25:29.472-05:00Too short and can't handle another bluegrass g...Too short and can't handle another bluegrass girl... remember?Mermaidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01704498798260812609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-6227298538786908902009-11-14T19:39:05.505-05:002009-11-14T19:39:05.505-05:00Moi,
I definitely make house calls! On the parents...Moi,<br />I definitely make house calls! On the parents position .... I actually did sort of hear this week there has been a negotiated peace on the don't ask don't tell format. It probably has occured to them by now they have no clue who Willa dated in her Ivy days.<br /><br />Troll,<br />I think some of those Beaudreau's out there are serious nice girl from nice family sharks. There purpose is never about anything good. As for your in-laws being elated with a Troll ... weren't they the wise parents?<br /><br />Mermaid,<br />Whatever made you think this was about you? If you have a Beau type in your life I certainly don't know about it and ...is that why you are bringing me wine and chocolate? I'll get the skillet ready.<br /><br />As for "your" appalachian ... well that was a geography category not a cultural category and while I did think his wardrobe made him look like a laundry hamper, he was pursuing an education ( doesn't he have 2 degrees now?)he had at least a flirting acquaintance with manners, he was usually clean, groomed reasonably ... (wasn't he the one with the beautiful fingernails?), never displayed a toothpick in my presence and if he has tattoos they were not on display. He did however have a disturbing fondness for wearing crap on his head.<br /><br />And IF you are interested in pursuing a man your mother likes,<br />well go look up that guy who was a groomsman in the last wedding in which you were a bridesmaid. The one I told you to bring home and keep forever? He'll do nicely indeed.<br /><br />Glad you find your MamaFishy entertaining. Bring really good chocolate.fishyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-74800700050239884152009-11-14T14:19:39.217-05:002009-11-14T14:19:39.217-05:00This whole blog made me laugh out loud! i know tha...This whole blog made me laugh out loud! i know that seems cruel, and i do have great compassion for your friend and her daughter, and yes beau, but the visions you create make me laugh! in fact i wasn't entirely sure until the end that you weren't telling a mermaid story behind a carefully crafted veil!<br /><br />my perspective is as follows:<br />certain people affect us in different ways. i've certainly had my attractions to totally unsuitable men, INCLUDING appalacian. the chances of this Willa keeping Mr Appalacian for all eternity are small. i'm kind of surprised that she hasn't "cleaned him up". even if she's not bringing him home to the rents, you would think she would infuence his presentation in general. perhaps Willa knows that he won't be around forever, and didn't want to burden the parents with the realities of her forays. any way you look at it, Willa is a grown woman, and capable of making her own decisions. i feel quite certain that her parents won't have to worry about this particular decision sticking, and if Willa always followed the "group" dating, I can definately see the appeal of dating someone that represents the complete opposite.<br /><br />Willa will hang onto Beau for as long as she finds reason to do so, and when she's done she'll be gone, and there will be no more Beau in her life and her parents will go back to breathing. i know there are concerns about permanent damage being done by "slumming", and some damage is visable and others arn't, but often the lessons learned are stronger than the damage.<br /><br />i found myself wishing that you had had someone to pour you wine and feed you chocholate when i was in my appalacian stage.... or any stage. hell there's never been a male you've approved of... not that there's been any really worth choosing from and my Mr Appalacia was the best of the bunch! Ouch! i'm so sending you wine and chocholate!<br /><br />Lots of love to a patient Mama Fishy!Mermaidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01704498798260812609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-62822211237196479122009-11-14T10:35:57.905-05:002009-11-14T10:35:57.905-05:00Is his last name "Boudreau", by any chan...Is his last name "Boudreau", by any chance?<br /><br />Like Buzz, I thought this was building to an O'Henry ending and the lad would be a democrat. <br /><br />Look, she's slumming and she KNOWS she's slumming or she'd have showed him off. If she doesn't get pregnant or catch herpes, things will probably work out.<br /><br />My wife dated some major-league Boudreaus and one Homosexual before me. Had that not happened, her parents might not have been ENRAPTURED with the idea of her marrying a Troll.<br /><br />I was a BIG step UP!hhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04341805107057968097noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-91880474651797006492009-11-13T22:03:30.668-05:002009-11-13T22:03:30.668-05:00I'm with K9 on this. The more fuss Willa's...I'm with K9 on this. The more fuss Willa's parent make, the more she'll dig in her heels. It's gonna be hard, but they should really la dee da on this one. And, your friend is awfully lucky to have such terrific support – chocolate AND wine? Do you make house calls :o)?moihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07824043795171732429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-69830418767112391592009-11-12T12:52:52.069-05:002009-11-12T12:52:52.069-05:00Hi Karl,
You make a valid point, but obviously the...Hi Karl,<br />You make a valid point, but obviously the cover makes a presentation which disturbs.<br />I think they did chat with "Beau" a bit before deciding to exit the movie line. Over time I think they may well have the opportunity to learn more about this man and determine if the cover and contents are a match.<br /><br />On another front,<br /> I recently was at a dinner with a man who proudly announced he had "married up" and went on to tell with pride of the pleasure he continues to enjoy by "sticking it" to his wifes' family. Urked, I ask the man if at any time he had felt an obligation to make an effort to refine and provide on a level consistent with his wife's beginnings. <br />The expression on his face clearly demonstrated such an obligation had never crossed his <br />meager soul. I felt great compassion for his wife, and certainly for her parents.fishyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-34548573830181984902009-11-12T10:04:36.309-05:002009-11-12T10:04:36.309-05:00Good morning Fishy,
On the other hand, aren't...Good morning Fishy,<br /><br />On the other hand, aren't her parents judging a book by its cover. They have never spoken to the man. He may have a fine intellect, he may be a loving and caring person. <br /><br />Willa, by all accounts seems to be quite intelligent. Maybe they should give her the benefit of the doubt or at least some rational conversation. If he is wrong for her, she will likely figure it out.Karlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18233754448811631284noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-33832813620456117442009-11-12T08:08:26.553-05:002009-11-12T08:08:26.553-05:00Kym,
I think I would find it very interesting to h...Kym,<br />I think I would find it very interesting to hear the telling of this circumstance by Willa herself. Clearly she delayed a face to face with Beau and her parents. There is no way for me to know if this delay was Willa's choice or Beau's.<br /><br />I agree with you, and Boxer, in hoping Willa is being prudent in avoiding lifelong ties to this man should the bloom fall from the stem.<br /><br />I am sure Willa's parents are praying the day will come soon for Willa's intellect to overide her emotions. I do believe God gave us an onboard checks and balances system spirituality/intelectuality,physicality.<br /><br /> At the moment I think the parents see Willa's balance as off, and I think they perceive this as a threat to their beloved child and, by extension, the family. Acute fear for your child is a tough experience.<br /><br />As for Bill's harsh commentary. I am sure he will do his best to seek his wife's forgiveness, as she should seek his. Both of them had serious lapses in judgement regarding the way they vocalized their angst. This couple really does have a fine handle on the "cherishing" of one another so I predict they will move beyond this quickly.<br /><br />Thanks for offering a youthful perspective!<br /><br />Boxer,<br />Dinner with Fishy? So funny, and a very nice compliment.<br /><br />I think the issue is " Threat Level Red". <br />We have all witnessed family fractures where once close children have disengaged. Where love becomes a tool of leverage or control. When marriage and children are involved then future generations are a source of never ending grief because those kids live in the divide. <br /><br />You may not have kids, but you are a serious nurturer and protector of your pups. In fact, you parent your pups as they are much loved members of your family. Think how terrifying it would be if you clearly saw one of the pups rushing toward danger and could not intervene.<br /><br />Maybe I should start keeping a supply of Troll's beet infused vodka in the fridge? For me.fishyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-54953195701189528712009-11-11T21:51:39.368-05:002009-11-11T21:51:39.368-05:00I really, really, really hope Willa is using birth...I really, really, really hope Willa is using birth control.<br /><br />This sounds more about the marriage than the daughter's choice in men? Or is it both? I have no idea the toll a child can take on a marriage, but it's really too bad they didn't wait around to talk to the man. Reality is often less scary. Or maybe not. <br /><br />I love your stories Fishy. I actually stopped about a 1/3 of the way, got my dinner, came back to finish.<br /><br />All you can do is supply chocolat/wine and your ear. You're a good friend.Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11280822962202098606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-88769963390700877892009-11-11T20:52:07.227-05:002009-11-11T20:52:07.227-05:00Okay. I'm going to (try my best to) come at ...Okay. I'm going to (try my best to) come at this from the other perspective.<br /><br />(And as I continue to write this, it seems to be more perspective for your friend than you.)<br /><br />Clearly Willa was raised in a house full of love and support and knows there isn't anything her parents wouldn't do for her. <br /><br />Being raised in a household like that, I have to assume that Willa's family roots are incredibly important to her. And when she looks at her future, with a husband and family all her own, she sees her parents being an involved, crucial part of her life.<br /><br />She obviously knows that this man is not someone who will fill that role. If she thought so, she would have brought him around a long time ago. She knew her parents would never approve. <br /><br />I don't really know how my mom handled my situation, but I do know that there was nothing she could say to me that was going to make me change my mind. I pretty much tuned her out. I think we just didn't talk about it. Because, it would end up in an argument and I would leave. <br /><br />That being said, please tell your friend that this too shall pass. Willa isn't going to marry this man. I don't know how long it will last. Maybe a few months, maybe a few years. Hopefully she's smart enough to protect herself in the sense that she doesn't end up having a lifetime tie to him. <br /><br />I think most girls go through this. It's like a rite of passage. But there will come a time when she will realizes what she already knows: That her family is the most important thing. That it's important to her that her parents love her significant other, and that her significant other get along and have a relationship with her parents. This will be criteria that has to be met before she can commit her life, before God, to a man. <br /><br />I'm not sure of Willa's age, but given that she has a Masters, I'd guess she’s just a few years younger than me. She still has plenty of time to find the person God meant for her. I'm sure there is just something about this guy she finds alluring and exciting. It will ware off eventually. She'll get bored of someone who is substantially below her intellectual equivalence. <br /><br />Looking back though, as much as I know now what a horrible relationship I was in at one time, I’m not sure I would have changed anything. I happen to believe that we learn from the situations and relationships we experience. After it was over, and I came to my senses, something my mom said really resonated in my spirit, and I’ll never forget it. She said I have to look at things this way: “I may not know what I want, but I definitely know what I don’t want.” <br /><br />Now as for her husband, I’m sure he was speaking out of anger. But that doesn’t mean his words weren’t hurtful and insulting. He owes her a sincere apology. Because, she may forgive him for saying such things, but I bet she won’t forget it. I’ll add your friend and her family to my prayer list.<br /><br />I hope this can give some sort of ease or relieve some angst for your friend. Hugs.Kymical Reactionshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03973202222132286348noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-55271748400261445692009-11-11T19:06:27.467-05:002009-11-11T19:06:27.467-05:00K9,
Well it certainly sounded to me like it's ...K9,<br />Well it certainly sounded to me like it's a bit late to not react too much. I don't know all the particulars, I think the physical description was not anything I would embrace but then I don't know "Beau" or really anything about him. I hope this family will find a way back to a good balance. But in case not, I resupplied the office chocolattes.fishyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-33345391969986678652009-11-11T17:08:28.062-05:002009-11-11T17:08:28.062-05:00what is so bad about this guy again -i mean beyond...what is so bad about this guy again -i mean beyond the physical? maybe he gives a great back rub.<br /><br />the best advice is to NOT react much at all. keep very cool. dont give the daughter any reasons to defend her choice. be patient. it'll blow over.sparringK9https://www.blogger.com/profile/08031137344229440004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-36190451589431782352009-11-11T13:48:13.278-05:002009-11-11T13:48:13.278-05:00Pam,
We are talking serious undiluted misery on so...Pam,<br />We are talking serious undiluted misery on so many fronts. <br /><br />I agree, some of the stages of parenting are very tough indeed. Once Mermaid and I had a terrible confrontation about a boy she dated for years. This was a nice enough young man, I have nothing bad to say about him, but I never found him to be a good match for Mermaid. She was in my face expounding at length on all the ways he was a good idea in her life and why couldn't I be more agreeable to her way of thinking? In a nano second I was shouting, "Might I remind you when you were 3 you thought it would be a great idea to ride your tricycle on the interstate? You were very persuasive in your arguments. They were however all generated by emotion with a noticeable absence of intellect being brought to the equation. So this is just another interstate argument Mermaid and equally dangerous."<br /><br />Eventually she did come to see her love as "just another interstate" and had the strength to exit the relationship with grace and kindness. But I did have a few skillet fantasies before she got there.<br /><br />Buzz.<br />OMG!!!!! I certainly have given no thought to the possibility of<br />"Beau" being politically objectionable too. <br />And Buzz, parents of boys can have it hard too. It is a gruesome experience for a girls dad to walk your son out the front door with the firm intent of making transparent he just doesn't measure up and is not welcome in their home or near their daughter.fishyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-76537378839926466232009-11-11T13:08:26.580-05:002009-11-11T13:08:26.580-05:00Great story. I was wondering where you were going...Great story. I was wondering where you were going with it until the very end. I thought your friend's daughter was going out with a democrat. Bwhahaha<br /><br />Times like these that I sure am glad I have boys.Buzz Killhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01443964019621130222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-67699761077666985662009-11-11T10:36:21.234-05:002009-11-11T10:36:21.234-05:00Oh I soooooo feel her pain. Maybe he has some red...Oh I soooooo feel her pain. Maybe he has some redeeming qualities. Or she is just going through a bad boyfriend stage. I still have visions of Kymmie's bad boyfriend stage. Ack! The hardest part of being a parent is coming to the realization that what YOU want for your kids isn't necessarily what THEY want for themselves. It is so tough to step back. It's a learning experience for everyone. You are a good friend. Wine, chocolate and a good ear was very therapeutic for your friend. And keep the skillet handy.Pamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15357397551761295138noreply@blogger.com