tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post7010098603012372180..comments2023-11-02T03:51:39.411-04:00Comments on FISHY2ME: A Cruel Manfishyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-59559769586517663912009-03-30T00:11:00.000-04:002009-03-30T00:11:00.000-04:00He's a snake-man of another order; and like any ma...He's a snake-man of another order; and like any man, you have to make him think everything is his own idea. That's a talent, obviously :)Pamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15357397551761295138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-85640714537665601312009-03-27T22:58:00.000-04:002009-03-27T22:58:00.000-04:00i was thinking about what the troll said -about ho...i was thinking about what the troll said -about how many of us women had violent thoughts? well, unless a woman went from her mamas tit into the arms of prince charming, chances are that she encountered a controlling dick somewhere along her path. luckily most of us are of a time and age where we felt we had options. i think this elderly lady was not of a mind set that she could walk away from it and still have her family or support herself or whatever. i found it chilling to imagine living inside a place that makes you desperately unhappy for 20 TWENTY!!!! years. to think a life could be wasted in despair. that is terrifying.sparringK9https://www.blogger.com/profile/08031137344229440004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-24096336904948806432009-03-26T13:45:00.000-04:002009-03-26T13:45:00.000-04:00Moi, sorry, it IS tough to read isn't it? Also tou...Moi, <BR/>sorry, it IS tough to read isn't it? Also tough to write, but somewhat cathartic.<BR/><BR/>I probably included more info than I should have but I was motivated by my desire for guidance. I just do not want to mess this up for her if there is any chance at all...<BR/><BR/>Thank God women today, at least here, can stand up and refuse to sign the papers to buy a house they don't want to inhabit. We are no longer indoctrinated from birth with the idea we should acquiesce to our men, be they fathers, brothers, spouses, preachers, teachers .... <BR/><BR/>I actually do know a woman who SWEARS in her house growing up, her brother had a personal section of the refrigerator just for his "special" foods which all the girls were forbidden to touch. Why? you ask, the answer they always received was, "because he will grow up to be the man of his house".<BR/><BR/>INSANE!!!!!fishyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-82354397321207842292009-03-26T12:37:00.000-04:002009-03-26T12:37:00.000-04:00Sorry I got over here so late. Your post was tough...Sorry I got over here so late. Your post was tough tough for me to read, as I can't imagine ever being in that situation and my heart so goes out to that poor woman.<BR/><BR/>Naturally, my first instinct is gun/bullet/head/finito, but yeah, that's not much of a solution if it ends you in the clink :o). <BR/><BR/>So I think all you can do is what you've been doing: helping to the best of your ability as you work around this asshole. Let him keep his misguided, puffed up image of himself so he doesn't end up doing further damage to his wife during this process. <BR/><BR/>Amazing to me in this day and age, in this <I>country</I>, that a woman could be so beaten down as to stay with such an asshat, especially given the fact that she does seem to have a large and supportive family.<BR/><BR/>Then again, you can't spell victim without an "I".moihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07824043795171732429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-29573743232783428692009-03-26T10:46:00.000-04:002009-03-26T10:46:00.000-04:00Well,Kudos to you for having Troll Control on NOT...Well,<BR/>Kudos to you for having Troll Control on NOT offering a violent response to the Southern Baptist<BR/>preacherman. Although, I think you did mention if his sons were appropriately equippecd they might want to stand up to the <BR/>"patriarch". Kym and Pam, like you, are reasoned people trying to find an understanding way to navigate this situation.<BR/><BR/>I agree he probably WAS successful in his career, else they would have shipped him off somewhere else where he could maybe connect better. <BR/><BR/>And yes, I do think he has had a terrible year too. He has lost a son and been through the trauma year with his wife. I expect he feels GREAT DENIAL about the running over event because casting the blame on the car or on the location for standing is simply not a rational thought. <BR/><BR/>I do however find it relevant, and to my way of thinking probably habitual , that he denigrates his wife in order to elevate himself.<BR/><BR/>Troll, the truth about this Fishy is just can't stand those kind of people. So yeah, the retribution fantasies have been entertaining!fishyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-55806532810466332232009-03-26T10:23:00.000-04:002009-03-26T10:23:00.000-04:00This is blogging at it's best. Fascinated by the r...This is blogging at it's best. Fascinated by the reader comments and Fishy's slow release of additional details. Especially, "She wasn't standing where I told her to stand".<BR/><BR/>Especially interesting that a TROLL is the only reader who didn't suggest a violent solution.<BR/><BR/>Anyhay, YES I do believe that the situation got MUCH worse as he aged and then retired. No, I don't believe he was a complete lunatic all his life who bullied and belittled his congregants in the manner he now treats his wife.<BR/><BR/>With SBC Churches, if a YOUNG Preacher acts like that, he gets the BOOT and darned promptly.<BR/><BR/>In fact, it's quite possible he was an effective leader way back when and the Wife was probably involved in the Church and proud of him.<BR/><BR/>Would be helpful to know what the Church's affiliation was, if any.<BR/><BR/>Hopefully, Fishy will get a clearer picture of the past-and-present from the Sons, Old Friends, DILs etc...<BR/><BR/>And can them embark upon a corrective course.<BR/><BR/>Or she could hit him with a big Troll Club!hhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04341805107057968097noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-65419303791479094672009-03-26T08:32:00.000-04:002009-03-26T08:32:00.000-04:00Such good suggestions Bloggers! I am truly apprec...Such good suggestions Bloggers! I am truly appreciative none of you wrote to tell me ,<BR/>"what a man chooses for his own wife is nobody's business but his". You know, like what kind of car he buys.<BR/><BR/>Boxer,<BR/> I confess my very unchristian thought about wishing I knew how to use those big red gloves of yours. Like K9, I had quite the payback fantasy about smashing body parts.<BR/><BR/>Pam,<BR/>Thanks for taking the time to help, I know you have a very full plate these days. YES! I agree with you, the "reward" he needs for accomplishing this task must be about him and not her. I tried hard in that meeting to approach things from the standpoint of the "Patriarch" providing for his family... which may have landed the first chink in his blockhead but my worry now is how to improve beyond that first chink.... it is a LARGE block.<BR/><BR/>Walking man,<BR/>Nice to hear from you and I LOVE the fantasy of opening up the wall with his head! Made me LOL.<BR/>I agree, this man will never change he is over 80 and I suspect Troll is right, the creep probably accelerated his tyranny after retirement.<BR/><BR/>I do think her sons, DILs and possibly some of the older grandchildren might be recruited to the mission because on that first visit she did mention they are begining to vocalize their discomfort in this house when they visit. Also, the DILs, while making a horrid color choice, did make a "gift" of painting the Living Room to "cheer her up" so that to me indicates others in the family are loving and concerned.<BR/>If preacherman adjudicates against "investing" in this house, then my fallback position is to offer my services/ guidance to help her have a family clean-up, fix-up, paint-up weekend with as many family and church friends as possible.<BR/><BR/>I did think last night I might ask if there are out of work friends from his past congregation who could bring their skills and then preacherman could have his "glory" over having helped his "flock".<BR/><BR/> I am still liking the head thru the wall image!<BR/><BR/><BR/>Aunty Belle!<BR/>Welcome home, we all missed ya.<BR/><BR/>HOWL!!!!!! I love the come to Jesus via the taser scenario, I can just see that purple halo glow. I 'spect this sounds like I am the crazy one but I swear all the 'equalizers' the bloggers have suggested have been balm for me. <BR/><BR/>Part of the angst I have experienced about this is <BR/>this lovely lady is nobody's fool. She is 80 years old, has all her wits and is in amazing physical condition despite her "really terrible year". I have a mom near her age and I can readily see me getting out more than a taser if anyone treated my mother to this sort of cruel tyranny.<BR/><BR/>What she did say on that first come to fetch me day was that she had begged preacherman to not buy the house, that she had never liked the house, never liked living there but there she was, twenty years later. She also mentioned she had spent most of those 20 years staying busy with friends and family, spending more time out than in, really avoiding lengthy stays indoors because it had always depressed her. <BR/><BR/> But this year, with all her broken body parts, she has been required to be in that house! She has not been able to drive herself and apparently he has discouraged lifetime friends from " stopping by to disturb her". <BR/> I now read that to mean he did not want lifetime admirers from his flock to come by and see his shattered wife then go out into the community and tell the story<BR/><BR/>More control....sure <BR/>but <BR/>more than that <BR/>I get the idea he is angry about the reflection on him about running over his wife in the restaurant parking lot. Really the man baldly declares the CAR ( not him) hit her because she<BR/><BR/>" was not standing where I told her to stand".<BR/> <BR/>I think he has severely limited her interaction with others because he did not want folks all over town spreading the story of his stepping on the accelerator instead of the brakes. <BR/>I have no doubts he was vigilant about control, control, control. He also refers to this happening to him, ie he had to endure this terrible experience because she went and stood in the wrong place. <BR/><BR/>OMG! bring on the taser, the gloves, the car, the scissors, the ladder and maybe a few stones.<BR/><BR/>Being a Southern woman Belle, I did invite her to walk on over to the Pond to see how we handled opening up our older house. That happened after that first visit but afore the presentation. She came in my Garden Room door cause there are no steps to navigate like at the front door. This room is light, bright, airy with big views in three directions,<BR/>She came in and looked every way possible then broke out with a big, big smile and declared,<BR/>"well a soul could have some peace in a room like this". She went all around the room touching and patting things the way the elderly do and sat in every seat to see the views from each and she just looked like a teenager in love. I cried after I got her back home.<BR/><BR/>I want to smite that man.<BR/><BR/>There is no question, despite her terrible year and decades of marriage to the preacherman and twenty years in the house of gloom, SHE IS STILL IN THERE!<BR/><BR/>And yes Belle, she has been invited for tea and cookies and to just come sit a spell while I putter in the garden. <BR/><BR/>Bloggers, thank you all for being so gracious about this. And please do continue to send advice...fishyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-50695271571868352062009-03-26T06:51:00.000-04:002009-03-26T06:51:00.000-04:00This just breaks my heart! I hope you can get past...This just breaks my heart! I hope you can get past the husband and bring a little sunshine into the house and her life. So hard facing life when you feel like you're nothing. Shame on that man!<BR/><BR/>I think we'd all be happy to hold that ladder.Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04038703319667640641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-32373521216376543092009-03-26T06:47:00.000-04:002009-03-26T06:47:00.000-04:00Fishy- Icthy,Ya done real good--real good.I got a ...Fishy- Icthy,<BR/><BR/>Ya done real good--real good.<BR/><BR/>I got a method fer ya, but first--<BR/><BR/>Ya know this weasel took up "preachin" as a means of dominatin' others while lookin' sanctimonious. My book learnin' is paleolithic, but I did have a smart psych prof who warned us'uns of those personality disorders that seek positions of authority over the vulnerable in order to feel powerful enough to cover their own glaring inadequacies. <BR/><BR/>This includes prison guards, policemen, teachers of the retarded, and yep, preachers--in each case the profession carries authority over others with no escape. <BR/><BR/>I'd be willin' to bet this "preacher" got his certificate from some diploma mill--but if not, find out who his own superior is an' write a letter outlinin' the man's pathological cruelty.<BR/><BR/>Now fer Aunty's solution. Get yore self a pocket Taser (the C2 comes in "designer " colors!) When ya go speak to the fella an' he makes derogatory comments about the missus, zap him from yore pocket. When he recovers be very solicitous of his "encounter wif' the Lawd" ...how his St. Vitus dance and kissin' the floor musta a been a sign from heaven remindin' him that a married woman ain't called to submit unilaterally, but only to the degree that the husband is Christ-like--which this one ain't. Invite him to repentance.<BR/><BR/>Iffin' he gits testy about yore theology, zap him again. <BR/><BR/>Tell him ya seen a purple halo hoverin' over his haid an' how ya had a vision of God's Glow-ry holdin' back the angel of justice --cause otherwise preacher man would be a maggot snack next week.<BR/><BR/><BR/>Leave the Taser wif' the missus. <BR/><BR/>Fishy, what that poor soul of a woman needs is a friend. Ya ain't gonna change that warthawg of a husband. The DIL's is afeared to rock the family boat. Jes' provide a few afternoons of tea fer the ole soul. <BR/><BR/>An mail warthawg a copy of Flannery O'Connor's short story, "Revelation." <BR/><BR/>Heh.Aunty Bellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13868780211706866610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-41436098294172902812009-03-26T06:17:00.000-04:002009-03-26T06:17:00.000-04:00My first instinct is to use the mans head to open ...My first instinct is to use the mans head to open up the walls so more light shines in...but that would only be temporary because he would soon enough block out any illumination.<BR/><BR/>What you have to realize is that these people, preachers, think that the little voice they hear is God speaking to them. God does speak to man but in this case his own voice drowns out the voice of God; which is much quieter.<BR/><BR/>You will never convince him that he is anything other than what he sees himself as so the changes to the structure have to come from a different direction.<BR/><BR/>Not the wife, not you, but rather the family has to want them done and they are the ones who have to express that desire, not for grandma's peace of mind (he gives a shit less about that) but rather because changes would benefit the entire community and clan. <BR/><BR/>Find a way to get them on board then the patriarch will relent for his perception of the greater good.<BR/><BR/>Give him a way to feel saintly and he will give everything to comply with that feeling.<BR/><BR/>Absent that I like K9's resolutions.the walking manhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10058913927297370740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-48226722751546822842009-03-25T23:11:00.000-04:002009-03-25T23:11:00.000-04:00Fishy Fishy FIshy, you handled it gracefully. My o...Fishy Fishy FIshy, you handled it gracefully. My only advice would be next time, take a man around as back up. (One sympathetic to you of course.) HE's gotta feel in control so another guy ought to be able to give him the nudge and the wink and roll the eyes and say "wimmin, what can you do?"<BR/><BR/>I'd be playing to his preacher side as well, and say you could have a house blessing or family reunion etc etc. Gotta be an event to look forward to... so the focus is on something **besides** the remodel, something that is the **goal** of the remodel.<BR/><BR/>Maybe underneath it all, he wants to see her happy.Pamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15357397551761295138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-17066230236826063972009-03-25T22:13:00.000-04:002009-03-25T22:13:00.000-04:00That's a tough question... why does he feel a woma...That's a tough question... why does he feel a woman, his OWN wife is less than a man?<BR/><BR/>It's as old as dirt. She might as well being wearing a burka.<BR/><BR/>I thought to myself "I can mess him up worse than a car."Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11280822962202098606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-31333658832174627152009-03-25T21:36:00.000-04:002009-03-25T21:36:00.000-04:00Bloggers,here is the question that echoes in my he...Bloggers,<BR/>here is the question that echoes in my head.<BR/><BR/>Why does a man like this feel glorified in elevating his grandson while smashing his wife?<BR/><BR/>Maybe if I can figure that out, I could ask the contractor to present things in a way that would make preacherman feel glorified in addressing this "duty".fishyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-75887058557700299242009-03-25T21:14:00.000-04:002009-03-25T21:14:00.000-04:00K9!LOLx2You can just imagine my fantasy sitting in...K9!<BR/>LOLx2<BR/>You can just imagine my fantasy sitting in his damn depressing house while he boldly critiqued the "foolish desires of this old woman".<BR/><BR/> Scissors to the trachea works for me!<BR/>Or.... holding the ladder works for me too. <BR/>Or running over him with a car.<BR/>Or forcing him to spend the next twenty years of his life living someplace he can't stand that makes him cry. Or how about Hell for all eternity?<BR/><BR/>RAngel,<BR/>So good to hear from you. Again, I agree, I loathe people who claim to be guided by God but clearly are not.<BR/><BR/> On some level I realize this is sickness and I should have compassion for both of them. At the moment I am still at the "scissors to the trachea" fantasy from K9 about him. A very long way from compassion!.<BR/> Seriously Angel girl, you would have howled with laughter had you witnessed my door slamming, howling, vituperative rant upon returning to the Pond. I screamed and stomped my way through the house, up the stairs and into a pounding hot shower. <BR/><BR/>My one ray of hope? The contractor I've scheduled to come and talk with them has an awesome story of giving up a life of sin and embracing God. It's quite the come to Jesus story, well told and makes a really good point. I am praying he will be the instrument of the tipping point and "Mother" will no longer have to sit in the dark and cry alone.fishyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-11150774542656512052009-03-25T19:12:00.001-04:002009-03-25T19:12:00.001-04:00I haven't been commenting anywhere of late Fishy b...I haven't been commenting anywhere of late Fishy but I felt compelled to here. This literally broke my heart.<BR/><BR/><BR/>I do have a suggestion on how to help this woman but I'm afraid it wouldn't be legal and would involve a speeding car with husband in the near vicinity.<BR/><BR/><BR/>I despise so called god fearing people who are cruel and often sadistic in the name of doing god's work. How dare they hide behind religion to do the devil's bidding.<BR/><BR/><BR/>I wish I could come up with something helpful but you are dealing with someone who as far as I'm concerned is sub human. I do wish you luck though because that poor woman certainly needs help. Bless you for trying to give it to her. What a sweet and kind lady you are.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-56802905981044854962009-03-25T19:12:00.000-04:002009-03-25T19:12:00.000-04:00how about we let him strip the wallpaper. i'll hol...how about we let him strip the wallpaper. i'll hold the ladder.sparringK9https://www.blogger.com/profile/08031137344229440004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-25483357095223947172009-03-25T19:07:00.000-04:002009-03-25T19:07:00.000-04:00i do have some advice. i will drive over there and...i do have some advice. i will drive over there and implant a pair of scissors into his trachea. will i burn in hell? let's ask preacherman as he gurgles his way to the laword.<BR/><BR/>arent homicidal fantasies satisfying?<BR/><BR/>hang in there. i think you did a great job managing the situation.sparringK9https://www.blogger.com/profile/08031137344229440004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-42931566774862875392009-03-25T18:16:00.000-04:002009-03-25T18:16:00.000-04:00Troll,Yep, definitely a bad scenario... borders on...Troll,<BR/>Yep, definitely a bad scenario... borders on elder abuse and is certainly emotional abuse. I recognize their problem is not a design problem and needs intervention beyond my skill set.<BR/><BR/>My prayer is, if I can convince him to invest in the property then maybe, just maybe I can wring enough progress out of this to lessen her stresses. I can't change him, I CAN transform that house given the opportunity to do so.<BR/><BR/>Yep, send an e-mail and I will tell you how I work with folks long distance.fishyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-2041312860779849922009-03-25T18:09:00.000-04:002009-03-25T18:09:00.000-04:00Boxer,I KNOW, reading about him, or short stints i...Boxer,<BR/>I KNOW, reading about him, or short stints in his presence stresses me plenty. I do not know how she has endured.<BR/><BR/> His statement is " the car hit her because she was not standing where I told her to stand." I nearly broke a tooth hearing that statement! <BR/>Was the CAR in control?<BR/><BR/>I am praying for wisdom and control of my sometimes sharp tongue in hopes she can have something to provide some solace in her daily life.<BR/><BR/>I find the man an absolute horror but I have not a single doubt that he sincerely believes he is a good God fearing man seeking to honor his duties with guidance and forbearance. I certainly will never change his mindset but am thinking I need to try to understand it so I can help his wife.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for the encouragement.fishyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-47074426474415880702009-03-25T18:05:00.000-04:002009-03-25T18:05:00.000-04:00Your label was scary. Preacher's wives, especially...Your label was scary. Preacher's wives, especially RETIRED Preacher's wives, can be the personification of Passive-Aggressive-Personality-Disorder.<BR/><BR/>I'd bet if you find those "friends" he hasn't succeeded in running off, they'd tell you things got worse when he retired. It's also possible that the surviving Son or Sons are aware of what's going on. And possess the cajones to stand up to him.<BR/><BR/>Man spends X number of years in charge of a Congregation, a small Business, a Staff, whatever. He retires and decides to focus ALL his Management Acumen on "fixing" the long-suffering spouse.<BR/>Petty-Dictator-Syndrome.<BR/><BR/>I liked Kmw's practical advice a lot. But suspect there ARE underlying Psychological Problems with BOTH of them.<BR/><BR/>On a lighter note, if I send you photographs of my empty rooms and empty walls, can you give me an idea what to do with them?<BR/><BR/>I'm tired of having guests ask if I moved in last week!<BR/><BR/>The raw materials are a lot better than the Preachers. Plenty of light. Tile floors. 5 groovy ceiling fans.hhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04341805107057968097noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-11514657269374010152009-03-25T15:41:00.000-04:002009-03-25T15:41:00.000-04:00I think your tag is a good question. I was tempted...I think your tag is a good question. I was tempted to throw myself in front of one, just READING about him.<BR/><BR/>I admire you for quickly shifting your presentation to include this "man". It breaks my heart to hear of the pain and suffering she's endured in just the last year (if not her entire life) and to know she's alone in her pain? <BR/><BR/>Heart breaking.<BR/><BR/>I hope all of your hard work does give this poor woman some happiness, but I worry it's going take more than just new paint, to truly help her. I wish I had some advice for.... you clearly know what you're doing and if I were in your situation I'd be killing him with kindness and then quietly finding out when he's gone from the house and spending time with the woman during that time to find out what SHE wants.<BR/><BR/>xoxo to you Fishy - will you keep us posted on this?Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11280822962202098606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-52831791621652341132009-03-25T15:18:00.000-04:002009-03-25T15:18:00.000-04:00kym,Yep. I agree with you. I did review with him h...kym,<BR/>Yep. I agree with you. I did review with him his wishes, his preferences, lauded his input and so forth but OHHHHHHHHHH how hard it is to swallow what that mean man serves!fishyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15169980377922293950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5115084514040536840.post-44463078612447746902009-03-25T15:04:00.000-04:002009-03-25T15:04:00.000-04:00Oh Fishy. I have much admiration for you and your...Oh Fishy. I have much admiration for you and your ability to carefully consider your words before speaking them. I am mostly incapable of doing that myself. <BR/><BR/>It's definitely hard to reason with people who are set in their ways. <BR/><BR/>My best advice, and it isn't much to offer, has helped me in a few situations when dealing with difficult customers and others in various instances in my professional experience. <BR/><BR/>You have to find a way to get this grumpy old man to think that everything you are doing is/was his idea. It definitely sounds like you are on the right track, when you said to him that his house is creating memories for all of his family. (Brilliant, BTW) <BR/><BR/>Perhaps ask his opinions on what he thinks would be more practical and efficient in their kitchen/eating area. Especially as they age... what does he feel would be helpful... that sort of thing. All the while having your ideas about improvements ready to suggest in a way that makes him think he thought of it. He’s just the sort of man who needs to have the final say so, and “make the decisions for his family.” <BR/><BR/>I will definitely keep this couple in my thoughts and prayers. She needs some change in her life, and Fishy, bless you for taking on the challenge. Maybe just being her friend could be worlds of help to her.Kymical Reactionshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03973202222132286348noreply@blogger.com